Friday XV

[Lizard]

In honour of Donald Trump securing the Republican Party nomination, how about an All-Time POTUS XV?

1. Ulysses S Grant – aggressive and tactically astute in the dark arts
2. Dwight Eisenhower – loves the battle up front
3. Theodore Roosevelt – spitting image of Richard Loe, and similar hard-nosed attitude
4. Thomas Jefferson – old school, but provides great leadership in the pack (vc)
5. Abraham Lincoln – largely untested at international level, he’s done well domestically
6. John Quincy Adams – gets through a lot of work without the recognition he deserves
7. Richard “Tricky” Nixon – not afraid to test the boundaries of the law
8. Ronald Reagan – Versatile player covering 6, 8 and lock at a pinch
9. “Teflon” Bill Clinton – great talker and has the uncanny ability to get out of awkward positions
10. Jack Kennedy – able to get the attack deep into opposition territory. He also has great hands - he can really take a bullet
11. Herbert Hoover – a presidential John Kirwan, gets the nod despite not coming up through the usual ranks and suffering from depression later in his career
12. Lyndon Johnson – initially seen as purely a back-up for Kennedy, he has become a true playmaker in his own right
13. George Washington (c) – has the respect of all his team mates, especially enjoys hosting matches against England
14. Barrack Obama – ex-basketballer with good hands and some pace but a little iffy on defence
15. Woodrow Wilson – a bit slow to the action sometimes, but provides solid back-up when really needed

[Galfon]

Kennedy has competition from Carter and G Ford for the 10 shirt, but showed his passion for the game by naming the lunar space programme after the Samoan forward, Perelini.

[cashead]

Dubya played rugby during his uni days. Apparently he wasn't too bad.

[Lizard]

Dubya played rugby during his uni days. Apparently he wasn't too bad.

Sorry, like the All Blacks and, apparently, the Aussie 7s team, there's a "no dick-head" rule. Besides, he's the kind of guy who makes a break, celebrates prematurely and then tries to score over the 5m line.

[cashead]

Friday XV - The "Boys" XV

Every supporter of any given sport has their set of "boys," the guys that are just there without ever becoming stars, often playing in unfashionable sides. They're the guys that you're the sole advocate and supporter of, while they're written off as journeymen. They're the guys who you want to see succeed, even when you know they're up against it. As a qualifier, they can not have earned more than 5 test caps, or regularly been in the national team set-up for more than 2 cosecutive seasons. Your reasoning can also be entirely, and ludicrously parochial. So what's your Boys XV?

1. Pauliasi Manu
2. James Parsons
3. Josh Hohneck
4. Joe Wheeler
5. Hoani Matenga
6. Elliot Dixon
7. Blake Gibson
8. Blade Thomson
9. Bryn Hall
10. Ihaia West
11. Tevita Li
12. Richard Buckman
13. Charlie Ngatai
14. Matt Duffie
15. Lolagi Visinia

[Lizard]

I think what you've got there is largely an "up and coming XV". You need to add a condition of 28+ years old. Dixon, West, Ngatai at least are all well in the frame to exceed the other criteria in the fullness of time.

[Buggaluggs]

Serial Killer 15
1 John Wayne Gacy
2 Belle Gunness
3 David Berkowitz
4 Peter Kurten
5 H. H. Holmes
6 Dennis Rader
7 Jack the Ripper
8 Jeffrey Dahmer
9 Charles Manson
10 Ted Bundy
11 Ian Brady
12 Alexander Pichushkin
13 John Bodkin Adams
14 Ed Gein
15 Gary Leon Ridgway

[Banquo]

Serial Killer 15
1 John Wayne Gacy
2 Belle Gunness
3 David Berkowitz
4 Peter Kurten
5 H. H. Holmes
6 Dennis Rader
7 Jack the Ripper
8 Jeffrey Dahmer
9 Charles Manson
10 Ted Bundy
11 Ian Brady
12 Alexander Pichushkin
13 John Bodkin Adams
14 Ed Gein
15 Gary Leon Ridgway

Go West young man..

[Galfon]

International Bob XV

1. Bob Steven (s)
2. Bob Windsor (w)
3. Bob Hardwick (e)
4. Bob Sidoli (w)
5. Bob Casey (i)
6. Bob Mordell (e)
7. Bob Skinstad (sa)
8 Bob McLean (a)
9. Bob Howley (w)
10.Bob Andrew (e)
11.Bob Egerton (a)
12.Bob Ackerman (w)
13.Bob Horne (a)
14.Bob Lockrem (us)
15.Bob Lendrum (nz)

Head Coach: Bob Dwyer (a)
Other Coaches -
Defence: Bob Down
Speed: Bob Slade
Kicking: Bob Ullova
Scout: Bob Ojoboh

[Banquo]

International Bob XV

1. Bob Steven (s)
2. Bob Windsor (w)
3. Bob Hardwick (e)
4. Bob Sidoli (w)
5. Bob Casey (i)
6. Bob Mordell (e)
7. Bob Skinstad (sa)
8 Bob McLean (a)
9. Bob Howley (w)
10.Bob Andrew (e)
11.Bob Egerton (a)
12.Bob Ackerman (w)
13.Bob Horne (a)
14.Bob Lockrem (us)
15.Bob Lendrum (nz)

Head Coach: Bob Dwyer (a)
Other Coaches -
Defence: Bob Down
Speed: Bob Slade
Kicking: Bob Ullova
Scout: Bob Ojoboh

Poor Bob Hiller

[Galfon]

Hiller was one of the first names in the training squad, but made way for a kiwi.
Hesford & Norster are also on stand-by.

[Lizard]

By reference to the question posed on the politics board:

1. Zeus. Father of the gods and eventually all old dudes end up in the front row.

2. Hades. God of the underworld so embodies the dark arts perfectly.

3. Ganesha, the Hindu elephant God revered as the remover of obstacles, the patron of arts and sciences and the deva of intellect and wisdom. A perfect choice.

4. Thor. Specialist in random violence from above.

5. Tane Mahuta. God of the forest. Basically a Maori version of Colin Meads

6. Allah: player/coach who thinks he knows everything. Never brings his missus to the pub after the match. Capable of sporadic, violent retaliation against any slight real or imagined.

7. Anubis: Jackel-headed Egyptian God of death is clearly expert at wrapping things up and jackeling.

8. Buck Shelford. Has disciples still awaiting his return so you're damn right he's a god.

9. Janus: God of transitions. Has two faces, at least one of which is always bloody talking.

10. Cupid. Baby-faced but an excellent marksman. Chicks dig him.

11. Mercury, very fleet of foot.

12. Buddha: despite noticeably gaining weight over the years, insists he can simultaneously run an eight-fold path.

13. Osiris: God of resurrection, never dies with the ball. Awesome offload.

14. Jebus: right wing is a safe, out of the way place to put the long haired, sandal wearing ponce who thinks he is God but is only in the team because his dad is the coach.

15. Maui. Safe hands, could catch the sun if he had too.

Player/Coach: Jehovah. Doesn't believe in any of the players except his son. Basically a psychopath.

[Eugene Wrayburn]

By reference to the question posed on the politics board:

1. Zeus. Father of the gods and eventually all old dudes end up in the front row.

2. Hades. God of the underworld so embodies the dark arts perfectly.

3. Ganesha, the Hindu elephant God revered as the remover of obstacles, the patron of arts and sciences and the deva of intellect and wisdom. A perfect choice.

4. Thor. Specialist in random violence from above.

5. Tane Mahuta. God of the forest. Basically a Maori version of Colin Meads

6. Allah: player/coach who thinks he knows everything. Never brings his missus to the pub after the match. Capable of sporadic, violent retaliation against any slight real or imagined.

7. Anubis: Jackel-headed Egyptian God of death is clearly expert at wrapping things up and jackeling.

8. Buck Shelford. Has disciples still awaiting his return so you're damn right he's a god.

9. Janus: God of transitions. Has two faces, at least one of which is always bloody talking.

10. Cupid. Baby-faced but an excellent marksman. Chicks dig him.

11. Mercury, very fleet of foot.

12. Buddha: despite noticeably gaining weight over the years, insists he can simultaneously run an eight-fold path.

13. Osiris: God of resurrection, never dies with the ball. Awesome offload.

14. Jebus: right wing is a safe, out of the way place to put the long haired, sandal wearing ponce who thinks he is God but is only in the team because his dad is the coach.

15. Maui. Safe hands, could catch the sun if he had too.

Player/Coach: Jehovah. Doesn't believe in any of the players except his son. Basically a psychopath.

good work

[Banquo]

By reference to the question posed on the politics board:

1. Zeus. Father of the gods and eventually all old dudes end up in the front row.

2. Hades. God of the underworld so embodies the dark arts perfectly.

3. Ganesha, the Hindu elephant God revered as the remover of obstacles, the patron of arts and sciences and the deva of intellect and wisdom. A perfect choice.

4. Thor. Specialist in random violence from above.

5. Tane Mahuta. God of the forest. Basically a Maori version of Colin Meads

6. Allah: player/coach who thinks he knows everything. Never brings his missus to the pub after the match. Capable of sporadic, violent retaliation against any slight real or imagined.

7. Anubis: Jackel-headed Egyptian God of death is clearly expert at wrapping things up and jackeling.

8. Buck Shelford. Has disciples still awaiting his return so you're damn right he's a god.

9. Janus: God of transitions. Has two faces, at least one of which is always bloody talking.

10. Cupid. Baby-faced but an excellent marksman. Chicks dig him.

11. Mercury, very fleet of foot.

12. Buddha: despite noticeably gaining weight over the years, insists he can simultaneously run an eight-fold path.

13. Osiris: God of resurrection, never dies with the ball. Awesome offload.

14. Jebus: right wing is a safe, out of the way place to put the long haired, sandal wearing ponce who thinks he is God but is only in the team because his dad is the coach.

15. Maui. Safe hands, could catch the sun if he had too.

Player/Coach: Jehovah. Doesn't believe in any of the players except his son. Basically a psychopath.

Excellent, despite dropping erm....God. Suspect Loki was made for second row.

[Which Tyler]

By reference to the question posed on the politics board:

1. Zeus. Father of the gods and eventually all old dudes end up in the front row.
2. Hades. God of the underworld so embodies the dark arts perfectly.
3. Ganesha, the Hindu elephant God revered as the remover of obstacles, the patron of arts and sciences and the deva of intellect and wisdom. A perfect choice.
4. Thor. Specialist in random violence from above.
5. Tane Mahuta. God of the forest. Basically a Maori version of Colin Meads
6. Allah: player/coach who thinks he knows everything. Never brings his missus to the pub after the match. Capable of sporadic, violent retaliation against any slight real or imagined.
7. Anubis: Jackel-headed Egyptian God of death is clearly expert at wrapping things up and jackeling.
8. Buck Shelford. Has disciples still awaiting his return so you're damn right he's a god.

9. Janus: God of transitions. Has two faces, at least one of which is always bloody talking.
10. Cupid. Baby-faced but an excellent marksman. Chicks dig him.
11. Mercury, very fleet of foot.
12. Buddha: despite noticeably gaining weight over the years, insists he can simultaneously run an eight-fold path.
13. Osiris: God of resurrection, never dies with the ball. Awesome offload.
14. Jebus: right wing is a safe, out of the way place to put the long haired, sandal wearing ponce who thinks he is God but is only in the team because his dad is the coach.
15. Maui. Safe hands, could catch the sun if he had too.

Player/Coach: Jehovah. Doesn't believe in any of the players except his son. Basically a psychopath.

And Banquo - just no; Loki the trickster? he's the acrhetypal scrum half; causes all kinds of shit, and gets others to take the blame; hated by everyone but only allowed because he's "our pain in the arse"

[Banquo]

By reference to the question posed on the politics board:

1. Zeus. Father of the gods and eventually all old dudes end up in the front row.
2. Hades. God of the underworld so embodies the dark arts perfectly.
3. Ganesha, the Hindu elephant God revered as the remover of obstacles, the patron of arts and sciences and the deva of intellect and wisdom. A perfect choice.
4. Thor. Specialist in random violence from above.
5. Tane Mahuta. God of the forest. Basically a Maori version of Colin Meads
6. Allah: player/coach who thinks he knows everything. Never brings his missus to the pub after the match. Capable of sporadic, violent retaliation against any slight real or imagined.
7. Anubis: Jackel-headed Egyptian God of death is clearly expert at wrapping things up and jackeling.
8. Buck Shelford. Has disciples still awaiting his return so you're damn right he's a god.

9. Janus: God of transitions. Has two faces, at least one of which is always bloody talking.
10. Cupid. Baby-faced but an excellent marksman. Chicks dig him.
11. Mercury, very fleet of foot.
12. Buddha: despite noticeably gaining weight over the years, insists he can simultaneously run an eight-fold path.
13. Osiris: God of resurrection, never dies with the ball. Awesome offload.
14. Jebus: right wing is a safe, out of the way place to put the long haired, sandal wearing ponce who thinks he is God but is only in the team because his dad is the coach.
15. Maui. Safe hands, could catch the sun if he had too.

Player/Coach: Jehovah. Doesn't believe in any of the players except his son. Basically a psychopath.

And Banquo - just no; Loki the trickster? he's the acrhetypal scrum hald; causes havoc, and gets others to take the blame; hated by everyone but only allowed because he's "our bastard"

I guess you missed the play on words....... (lock- i )

[Lizard]

Yes, I considered Loki and Bragi for scrum half, but figured Loki is probably serving a ban and Bragi would be a bit of a dick on tour.

[Lizard]

It’s Auckland Beer Week. So here's a New Zealand Brewery XV:

1. North End
2. Harringtons
3. Galbraiths
4. Epic
5. Behemoth
6. Croucher
7. Hallertau
8. Emersons
9. Moa
10. Garage Project
11. Parrotdog
12. Hop Federation
13. Liberty
14. 8 Wired
15. Panhead

[Galfon]

Big decisions need to be made today..

Fridge XV

1. Scotch Egg- difficult to scrum against due to shape, the yolker in the pack.
2.Sausage Roll- compact , firm through the middle, can blow hot and cold though.
3. Pork Pie- solid,crusty appearance, sometimes jelly-like under pressure.
4. Cucumber- will stand out in the lineouts. not well equipped for an arm-wrestle though.
5. Celery- crunching tackles defying his light-weight reputation.(lower match-fee due to his cap.)
6. Chicken Drumstick- plenty meat & bone for big hits,
a real leg-end.
7. Salami Sausage- says he is now fully cured.Happy for his chance after plenty of hanging around.
8. Ham Shank- spunky character. Gave the reserve, Bishop a real bashing in training.
9. Grape- finds gaps easily,
some sweet moves.One of a useful bunch .
10. Cheddar- mature player with hard edge makes useful combo with 12.Could have them on toast.
11. Melon- A definite all rounder who keeps his cool.
12. Tomato- player of relish,
may leave opponents red-faced.
13. Salmon- goes well with a Carling.
14. Yoghurt- cream of the crop,
cultured player.
15. Pate-has been through the mincer recently,should liver-n up proceedings.

Subs:
Kebab- has played alongside the famous Lamb, may get chilli reception.
Beans- could be the trump card.
Curry sauce- fiery character,may get thrown on when the chips are down.
Pizza- can slice any defence.
useful back-row combo with 7, though got panned last time out.

[WaspInWales]

Big decisions need to be made today..

Fridge XV

1. Scotch Egg- difficult to scrum against due to shape, the yolker in the pack.
2.Sausage Roll- compact , firm through the middle, can blow hot and cold though.
3. Pork Pie- solid,crusty appearance, sometimes jelly-like under pressure.
4. Cucumber- will stand out in the lineouts. not well equipped for an arm-wrestle though.
5. Celery- crunching tackles defying his light-weight reputation.(lower match-fee due to his cap.)
6. Chicken Drumstick- plenty meat & bone for big hits,
a real leg-end.
7. Salami Sausage- says he is now fully cured.Happy for his chance after plenty of hanging around.
8. Ham Shank- spunky character. Gave the reserve, Bishop a real bashing in training.
9. Grape- finds gaps easily,
some sweet moves.One of a useful bunch .
10. Cheddar- mature player with hard edge makes useful combo with 12.Could have them on toast.
11. Melon- A definite all rounder who keeps his cool.
12. Tomato- player of relish,
may leave opponents red-faced.
13. Salmon- goes well with a Carling.
14. Yoghurt- cream of the crop,
cultured player.
15. Pate-has been through the mincer recently,should liver-n up proceedings.

Subs:
Kebab- has played alongside the famous Lamb, may get chilli reception.
Beans- could be the trump card.
Curry sauce- fiery character,may get thrown on when the chips are down.
Pizza- can slice any defence.
useful back-row combo with 7, though got panned last time out.

Thread winner...

Although the bench is a little light

[Lizard]

10 points and a chocolate fish if you can figure out the selection criteria for this XV:

1. Tony Daly
2. Phil Kearns
3. Ewen Mackenzie
4. John Eales
5. Victor Matfield
6. Matt Cockbain
7. David Wilson
8. Toutai Kefu
9. George Gregan
10. Stephen Larkham
11. Jean de Villiers
12. Tim Horan
13. Jason Little
14. David Campese
15. Matt Burke

[Doorzetbornandbred]

10 points and a chocolate fish if you can figure out the selection criteria for this XV:

1. Tony Daly
2. Phil Kearns
3. Ewen Mackenzie
4. John Eales
5. Victor Matfield
6. Matt Cockbain
7. David Wilson
8. Toutai Kefu
9. George Gregan
10. Stephen Larkham
11. Jean de Villiers
12. Tim Horan
13. Jason Little
14. David Campese
15. Matt Burke

Most wins versus the AB's for each position?

[Lizard]

10 points and a chocolate fish if you can figure out the selection criteria for this XV:

1. Tony Daly
2. Phil Kearns
3. Ewen Mackenzie
4. John Eales
5. Victor Matfield
6. Matt Cockbain
7. David Wilson
8. Toutai Kefu
9. George Gregan
10. Stephen Larkham
11. Jean de Villiers
12. Tim Horan
13. Jason Little
14. David Campese
15. Matt Burke

Most wins versus the AB's for each position?

Shoots...scores!

Well done.

[Galfon]

Kings XV.
positions not decided yet..

*Harold - battle hardened..one to keep an eye out for.
*William I - bit of a b'*stard.known to team-mates as 'Norman'.( no-one knows why)
Reigning team conker champion.
*Edward I..long-limbed trouble maker who likes boasting about Calcutta Cup triumphs.
*Edward II -tendency to go missing ..expect some back-door moves.
*Charles I - Cavalier attitide.Prone to losing his head.
*Henry VIII - Welsh prop., used to an arm-wrestle.Likes to change partners in the scrum regularly.
*Richard I - (Cap.) Good Lions prospect.Notable performances against Saracens recently.
(Has apparently asked courtiers FitzSkinner & de Baddiel to quill a song for the team to help team spirit.)
*George VI - a few stuttering performances recently.
*Edward VIII - currently playing overseas with American outfit.
*John - not popular with pack as often concedes territory and posession.
*Henry V - good run-out against the French last year.Best known for getting 'Court in posession.
*George I - staunch defender of the game of Union.might produce a few Han'overs.
*Henry II - The origiinal 'Fitzy', fiery red-head with experience playing in Wales, Ireland and Toulouse.Can confuse team-mates by calling moves in Latin.
*George III - unpredictable heavyweight who will lead post match revelries.
*Cnut - hopes to turn the tide of team's fortunes.shirt name mis- print caused some alarm last week, but reflected his error strewn performance

Others:
*Richard III - car park attendant.
*Prince Albert - ring & ride

[Lizard]

1. Mike French (USA)
2. Philippe Marocco (Fra)
3. Pasifiki Tonga (Ton)
4. Kiwi Cooke (Aus)
5. Alex Spain (Ire)
6. Jock Scott (Sco)
7. Willie Welsh (Sco)
8. John Ireland (Ire) forward
9. Chad Erskine (USA)
10. Michael English (Ire)
11. Charles France (Sco)
12. Stephen Turk (Sco)
13. Martyn Jordan (Wal)
14. Israel Dagg (NZ)
15. Ken Scotland (Sco)