Hemorrhoids

Donny osmond · Post by **Donny osmond** » Tue Sep 06, 2016 7:38 pm

Its right up his street, malheureusement

kk67 · Post by **kk67** » Tue Sep 06, 2016 10:04 pm

Donny osmond wrote:Its right up his street, malheureusement

Alley. It's right up his alley. Blydi Generation Snowflake.

That sounds a bit drastic Len, from never having had them to surgery..?.

kk67 · Post by **kk67** » Tue Sep 06, 2016 10:06 pm

zer0 wrote:This seems like the perfect topic for Timmy, were he still here.

Yup.
Spicy was definitely the Heterosexualahring VisnaGuru.

Len · Post by **Len** » Sat Sep 10, 2016 12:26 pm

kk67 wrote:
Donny osmond wrote:Its right up his street, malheureusement
Alley. It's right up his alley. Blydi Generation Snowflake.

That sounds a bit drastic Len, from never having had them to surgery..?.

Not very serious surgery. I'm all good now.

kk67 · Post by **kk67** » Tue Sep 13, 2016 11:40 pm

Len wrote:
kk67 wrote:
Donny osmond wrote:Its right up his street, malheureusement
Alley. It's right up his alley. Blydi Generation Snowflake.

That sounds a bit drastic Len, from never having had them to surgery..?.
Not very serious surgery. I'm all good now.

Mind the Vindaloo,.....gently with the bog roll.

Coco · Post by **Coco** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 3:15 am

How in the hell did I miss this thread?

Post by **BBD** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 11:42 am

Coco wrote:How in the hell did I miss this thread?

a high fibre diet with plenty of roughage?

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 12:16 pm

By roughage, do ye mean the odd spank and a bit of hair pulling - or are ye talking gagging and full-on bum-love?

Mellsblue · Post by **Mellsblue** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 12:35 pm

BBD wrote:
Coco wrote:How in the hell did I miss this thread?

a high fibre diet with plenty of roughage?

Post by **BBD** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 4:14 pm

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:By roughage, do ye mean the odd spank and a bit of hair pulling - or are ye talking gagging and full-on bum-love?

you've been browsing those "specialist" websites again haven't you!

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 4:27 pm

Purely for research purposes, mi Lud.

I have a small part in a new Harold Pinter play at the Gaiety.

Post by **BBD** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 4:43 pm

I saw the reviews

"a small but crucial to the plot type role of depth and hidden magnitude, masterfully crafted and executed with the grace of a Tongan prop at an Eat As much as you like buffet - the Scotsman

A triumph of substance over quality - The Times

Nice Moobs - the Sport

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 4:55 pm

"The Gaiety's modernist production of Pinter's fable 'Chicken Shyte and Hemorrhoids', staring Penelope Keith and The Duke of Wessex, is mostly dreadful but even worse for the unerringly crass and wooden performance of Serjeantwildgoose in the role of The Grape." Michael Billington OBE in the Observer.

"Michael Billington's a flabby aul c*nt!" Serjeantwildgoose BEM in the Limerick Leader.

Post by **BBD** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 5:21 pm

"his wild cursing and abusive ad-libs demonstrate an understanding of how it really feels to be an arse grape, audiences have been stunned by his portrayal, many moved to tears and have given him a standing ovation every evening and matinee" - The Lancet

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 5:53 pm

"I auditioned for that part; I was a natural for it. I was devastated not to be cast and my life is now in ruins!" Johnny Giles in The Square Ball.

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 5:55 pm

"My agent said that I was a shoe-in!" Torquil Campbell, 13th Duke of Argyll.

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 5:58 pm

"F*ck Serjeantwildgoose, the f*cking c*nt! He f*cking robbed my f*cking part the tw*tting, *rse-gnawing, chuff-end!" Nobby Stiles in The Ferret Keepers Association and Rescue News.

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 6:00 pm

"No!!!!!" Michael Miles on being informed that Serjeantwildgoose had been cast as The Grape.

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 6:02 pm

"Town Council of Chalfonts St Giles to sue Gaiety Theatre over Controversial Casting of Unknown Veteran in Pinter Play!" London Theatre News

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 6:07 pm

"I wish the f*cker wasn't here", Farmer Giles confides to Judith Chalmers on Bank Holiday Weekend excursion to Butlins Filey.

Coco · Post by **Coco** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 6:42 pm

BBD wrote:
Coco wrote:How in the hell did I miss this thread?

a high fibre diet with plenty of roughage?

Probably. I do love my roughage.

Coco · Post by **Coco** » Mon Jun 05, 2017 6:48 pm

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:"The Gaiety's modernist production of Pinter's fable 'Chicken Shyte and Hemorrhoids', staring Penelope Keith and The Duke of Wessex, is mostly dreadful but even worse for theunerringly crass and wooden performance of Serjeantwildgoose in the role of The Grape." Michael Billington OBE in the Observer.

"Michael Billington's a flabby aul c*nt!" Serjeantwildgoose BEM in the Limerick Leader.

I really lol'd at this

I will never look at my Black Globe grapes with longing again. Good job!!

kk67 · Post by **kk67** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 4:30 pm

My spam folder is currently getting hit with adverts for something called Dermabellix. I was wondering if any of our Oirish contributors knew about this product.

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 8:35 pm

The emphasis is on the middle syllable and I think you'll find Derm-A-billix was Asterix The Gaul's oldest friend (Even older than Geriatrix) who had a face like a well-weathered scrotum.

kk67 · Post by **kk67** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 9:00 pm

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:The emphasis is on the middle syllable and I think you'll find Derm-A-billix was Asterix The Gaul's oldest friend (Even older than Geriatrix) who had a face like a well-weathered scrotum.

I'm not entirely sure that's right.

RugbyRebels

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