Crap Joke fred.
- Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
A bloke down the pub recently lent his best mate ten grand to get much needed cosmetic surgery done.
He's now moaning he can't get the money back - he hasn't the foggiest idea what he looks like.
( kfc )
He's now moaning he can't get the money back - he hasn't the foggiest idea what he looks like.
( kfc )
- Galfon
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- Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2016 8:07 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
I went to the Greengrocer to get an onion for my casserole. He only had a small shrivelled looking one left on display-
"Is that all you've got ?" I asked.
"Yes, that's shallot..." he said.
(tony b)
"Is that all you've got ?" I asked.
"Yes, that's shallot..." he said.
(tony b)
- Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
Five fi' Fringe 19, that registered on the Crapometer:
1-Did you hear about the flea that went to the moon ? ..Lunatic.
[Felix & the Scootermen]
2- In his job my dad’s never lost a case. That makes him Gatwick’s top baggage handler.
[Glenn Moore]
3- My mate came second in a Winston Churchill lookalike competition. He was close, but no cigar.
[Goose]
4- After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging..
[Richard Pulsford]
5- To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian..
[Mark Simmons]
1-Did you hear about the flea that went to the moon ? ..Lunatic.
[Felix & the Scootermen]
2- In his job my dad’s never lost a case. That makes him Gatwick’s top baggage handler.
[Glenn Moore]
3- My mate came second in a Winston Churchill lookalike competition. He was close, but no cigar.
[Goose]
4- After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging..
[Richard Pulsford]
5- To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian..
[Mark Simmons]
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
Trudeau jokes are out
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Sent from my Redmi Note 7 using Tapatalk
-
- Posts: 1817
- Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2016 4:22 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
"Caramba! I should've known it was Justin Trudeau!"
Sent from my Redmi Note 7 using Tapatalk
Sent from my Redmi Note 7 using Tapatalk
- Buggaluggs
- Posts: 1267
- Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2016 2:50 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
My local shop keeper is being hailed a hero. He took on a robber armed only with his label gun.
Police said the man got away. But there's a price on his head.
Police said the man got away. But there's a price on his head.
- Puja
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- Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2016 9:16 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
I keep getting the words yakuza and jacuzzi confused. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
Puja
Puja
Backist Monk
- Galfon
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- Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2016 8:07 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
What might you get If you cross Elton John with a fish ?
a Piano Tuna.
a Piano Tuna.
- Puja
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- Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2016 9:16 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
Puja
It's a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
Puja
Backist Monk
- Buggaluggs
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
Very good.Puja wrote:It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
Puja
- Which Tyler
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
A Scotsman walks into a bar...
Usually he'd be joined by an Englishamn, an Irishman and a Welshman - but they're all still in Japan
Usually he'd be joined by an Englishamn, an Irishman and a Welshman - but they're all still in Japan
- Puja
- Posts: 18175
- Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2016 9:16 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
Puja
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Backist Monk
- Mellsblue
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
Pillaged straight from Tindall on House of Rugby, with a small change so it makes sense:
What’s the barrier stopping a Tier 2 side becoming a Tier 1 side?
Hadrian’s Wall.
What’s the barrier stopping a Tier 2 side becoming a Tier 1 side?
Hadrian’s Wall.
- Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
Local police have warned of firm action if there are reports of any more illegal raves whilst restrictions are in place.They will not hesitate to intervene if those present are not spaced out enough.
- Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
-What type of sea-water fish has patterns of dots and dashes on it's back ?
-Morse Cod
-Morse Cod
- Which Tyler
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
After seeing half a country reject wearing a mask during a pandemic, I would ike to apologise to the filmakers of every horror film ever made for calling their characters unbelievably dumb for going into the murder basement.
- Buggaluggs
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- Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2016 2:50 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
Last night my wife said to me, "You didn't listen to a word I said, did you?"
I thought, "That's an odd way to start a conversation"
I thought, "That's an odd way to start a conversation"
- Galfon
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- Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2016 8:07 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
My wife has just sold the Dyson I bought her for Xmas -
she said it was just gathering dust.
she said it was just gathering dust.
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
I would like to think you're now to be found lurking in a dark cellar wearing a maskWhich Tyler wrote:After seeing half a country reject wearing a mask during a pandemic, I would ike to apologise to the filmakers of every horror film ever made for calling their characters unbelievably dumb for going into the murder basement.
- Galfon
- Posts: 4568
- Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2016 8:07 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
It's International Joke day apparently
-What's green with four legs, and could kill you if it fell on you from a tree ?
- A billiard table
-What's green with four legs, and could kill you if it fell on you from a tree ?
- A billiard table
- Galfon
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- Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2016 8:07 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
The Queen was reportedly seen in the grounds of Windsor Castle yesterday acknowledging cheers from the public. It was a brief appearance however, and the second wave was avoided.
- Which Tyler
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- Location: Tewkesbury
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- Buggaluggs
- Posts: 1267
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Re: Crap Joke fred.
My last vacation was in Egypt. I thought the pyramids were nice - up to a point.
- Galfon
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- Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2016 8:07 pm
Re: Crap Joke fred.
Man: Just spent the weekend in Poole.
Friend: In Dorset ?
Man: Aye, recommend it to anyone..
Friend: In Dorset ?
Man: Aye, recommend it to anyone..