Crap Joke fred.

[Galfon]

Scientists studying coronavirus transmission in different animal species have reported spikes in porcupine populations.

[Galfon]

Next week, I am going to try a different bread item every day.
Roll on Monday..
<kfc>
*****
With bread shortages affecting areas in total lockdown, police are concerned about dough smuggling.There are reports of rising cases in local airports.

[Buggaluggs]

Have you tried blind archery?

No?

You don't know what you're missing

[Puja]

Capture.jpg

Puja

[Puja]

I met a girl with twelve nipples.
Sounds funny
Dozen tit.

Puja

[Galfon]

Man in bar, to language student:
"I've been learning German for twenty years !"
Student: "Zwanzig jahren isn't it ?.."

[Galfon]

3 men stranded on a desert island dig up an old bottle on the beach that when opened, freed a Genie trapped for a thousand years..
"You have set me free after a long long time - In return I will grant each of you a free wish, anything you desire..."
Man 1:" I need to get off this island and get back home.."
He disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Man 2: "I too would like to go home, back to my family."
He was gone
Man 3: "I am feeling so lonely already, please could I have my friends back ?"

[Galfon]

My wife just applied for a job helping someone with a keyboard disability typing capital letters.It's shift work.

[Buggaluggs]

If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

[Puja]

If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

That is truly terrible. Please excuse me while I share it with everyone I know.

Puja

[Buggaluggs]

I was once engaged to a girl with a wooden leg. She was really upset when I broke it off.

[morepork]

I don’t like the term, “anal bleaching.” I prefer, “changing your ring tone.”


The drummer in my band has just had twin girls. He called them Anna One, Anna Two...

[Puja]

I don’t like the term, “anal bleaching.” I prefer, “changing your ring tone.”


The drummer in my band has just had twin girls. He called them Anna One, Anna Two...

As you mentioned musicians, I've got a Slovakian friend who's a sound technician.

And a Czech one too, and a Czech one too.

Puja

[Buggaluggs]

My mum got a new stair lift. I asked her how she likes it.
Honestly, she said, it's driving me up the wall.

[Numbers]

There's been a theft of toilets from the local police station, unfortunately the police have nothing to go on.

[Spiffy]

I was once engaged to a girl with a wooden leg. She was really upset when I broke it off.

I don't know why, but that reminds me of a schoolboy joke that was ancient even when I were t'lad :

Hear about the gypsy with a glass eye?
His dad had a crystal ball.

Yes. It's still terrible.

[Galfon]

His dad had a crystal ball.

saw that one coming..

[Galfon]

My lad recently took a weekend job at a local Italian restaurant, helping out in the kitchen.
He thought it would be ideal for him, but it only took 10 minutes for the penne to drop..

[Galfon]

My cousin had to sadly close his Power line installation business
because of the overheads.

Two politics students sitting by the pool:
'Read Marx ? ..'
'Yes - it's the whicker chairs.'

[Galfon]

Man in restaurant: "I'm not sure what to go for..."
Waiter: "How about the duck ?"
Duck: "Just the lasagne for me."

<bob.m>

[Which Tyler]

A small group of Romans walk into a pub.
One of them approaches the bar, holds up 2 fingers, and says "5 please"

[Spiffy]

Three vampires walk into a pub :

Barman : What are your having
First vampire : Pint of blood please
Second Vampire : Same for me
Third Vampire : Feeling a bit woosy tonight - just a pint of plasma
Barman : Right, so that's two bloods and a blood lite

[morepork]

Three vampires walk into a pub :

Barman : What are your having
First vampire : Pint of blood please
Second Vampire : Same for me
Third Vampire : Feeling a bit woosy tonight - just a pint of plasma
Barman : Right, so that's two bloods and a blood lite

That is so bad I want to slap you.

[Spiffy]

Three vampires walk into a pub :

Barman : What are your having
First vampire : Pint of blood please
Second Vampire : Same for me
Third Vampire : Feeling a bit woosy tonight - just a pint of plasma
Barman : Right, so that's two bloods and a blood lite

That is so bad I want to slap you.

It is the crap joke thread, after all.

[Which Tyler]

A lImerick

Limerick.jpg