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Caravan advice

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 4:00 pm
by BBD
Does anyone have any top tips for life in the caravan of freedom?

How often to empty the 'grey water'?
How long to stay on a good pitch before moving on?
Internet access in an Avondale 5 berth?
Overthrowing the slave cow system on a tight budget?

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 4:20 pm
by bruce
mmm an Irishman asking advice on caravans!!!

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 4:35 pm
by Numbers
Travel at 3a.m.

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:59 pm
by bruce
Numbers wrote:Travel at 3a.m.
..and stay on the inside lane of motorways.

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:49 pm
by Mellsblue
Never eat free range beef. It's a trick.

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:50 am
by Timmyspicyman
The best tip I've got is sell the caravan and use the proceeds to stay in a hotel.

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 2:27 pm
by SerjeantWildgoose
Not sure about the Caravan of Freedom, but if a mere fraction of the population were to take the advice of the Housemartins you might find that a 5-berth is too small to serve as the Caravan of Love.

Subtracting the 1 in 2000 live-births, which is the lower-bound estimate of the number of inter-sex individuals who are genetically neither woman nor man, I think that you will need to go for the Avondale 7.511 Billion-berth with standing room.

I imagine this will be extraordinarily difficult to manoeuvre round the Lake District and give you serious grey-water issues if remaining on any given camp-site for more than a week.

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 7:36 am
by Sandydragon
Surely buying a caravan from a dealer and then setting up on a campsite misses the point? Far better to buy an old second hand one from some bloke in the pub and set up in a layby somewhere. With a clever extension set for your grey waste pipes, you could probably send it all straight down a drain.

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 10:37 am
by Stones of granite
Caravans area for corporate running dogs. Only a nest made out of cardboard boxes and tarps can really set you free. Ideally, it should be located in the bushes on a central reservation of a busy dual carriageway like yon bloke who lived like that on the Wolverhampton ring road for years.

Edited to add:
Found this
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Józef_Stawinoga
Seems like we even need the feckin' Poles to show us how to do opting out from a live of contended Cow-dom properly.

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 1:43 pm
by BBD
a caravan too bourgeois!!

who'd have thought

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 6:42 pm
by Lord Lucan
Stop at the next pikey site you see and go and ask the experts.

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 7:09 pm
by BBD
are they members of the caravan club?

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 2:33 pm
by Stones of granite
BBD wrote:are they members of the caravan club?
If you decide to follow LL's advice, could you please advertise it on here first. I'd quite like to watch this. The tinkers around here are a bit sensitive about being described as freeloaders who operate outside the system, and are quite insistent that the council provide them with pitches with all mod cons, including electricity, water, sewerage and rubbish collection. They're also not shy about sending their kids to school or using the NHS.

https://www.fifedirect.org.uk/topics/in ... 2B73303854

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 8:36 am
by BBD
Theres a Channel 5 series in this

"Gypsy Life Swap" it will make compelling viewing

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 4:06 pm
by SerjeantWildgoose
Celebrity Love Caravan?

11 former non-celebrities and Linda Lusardi spend 5 weeks in a 1961 Eriba Puck just off the Dudley Southern By-Pass while Paddy Kielty tries to keep the bemused audience interested by showing them pictures of what Linda's tits used to look like.

Re: Caravan advice

Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:12 pm
by BBD
Every week the public vote which celebrity they want to have to empty the communal bucket