Dinner conversation topics

[Lizard]

So, Mrs Lizard has just informed me that she has invited our brother-in-law over for dinner tonight. This is not normally a problem, he's a decent enough bloke and we have enough common interests to get along just fine. My wife has not invited her sister (i.e. the BIL's wife) because she is away skiing (whether with friends or on her own isn't clear). This too is normally fine - they don't have kids (4-5 years married, she's early 40s, he's at least 50) and their work schedules aren't always aligned so they do their own things a bit.

The problem us that the last I heard, the SIL had made up her mind to leave the BIL. I don't know if she's told him that yet. I heard this as we werer driving home from our beach place last weekend, where we had spent Easter with the SIL & BIL.

So what's the etiquette here? Assuming he's still in the dark, should I give him a head's up on the basis of blokes' solidarity? Should I casually mention single women I know who might be within his league? Should I rub my perfectly successful (so far) marriage in his face with the unspoken point being that I clearly got the better of the sisters?* Or should I stick to our usual topics of rugby & cricket results, fishing, home brewing and why he hasn't finished restoring his car/fixing his boat/building his deck/renovating his "investment" property/getting a proper job?**


*To be fair, he probably has (or had) the 2nd best of the 4 sisters (and 2 brothers - I don't discriminate)
**I believe that this character trait may be one of the causes of SIL's dissatisfaction.

[Stones of granite]

So, Mrs Lizard has just informed me that she has invited our brother-in-law over for dinner tonight. This is not normally a problem, he's a decent enough bloke and we have enough common interests to get along just fine. My wife has not invited her sister (i.e. the BIL's wife) because she is away skiing (whether with friends or on her own isn't clear). This too is normally fine - they don't have kids (4-5 years married, she's early 40s, he's at least 50) and their work schedules aren't always aligned so they do their own things a bit.

The problem us that the last I heard, the SIL had made up her mind to leave the BIL. I don't know if she's told him that yet. I heard this as we werer driving home from our beach place last weekend, where we had spent Easter with the SIL & BIL.

So what's the etiquette here? Assuming he's still in the dark, should I give him a head's up on the basis of blokes' solidarity? Should I casually mention single women I know who might be within his league? Should I rub my perfectly successful (so far) marriage in his face with the unspoken point being that I clearly got the better of the sisters?* Or should I stick to our usual topics of rugby & cricket results, fishing, home brewing and why he hasn't finished restoring his car/fixing his boat/building his deck/renovating his "investment" property/getting a proper job?**


*To be fair, he probably has (or had) the 2nd best of the 4 sisters (and 2 brothers - I don't discriminate)
**I believe that this character trait may be one of the causes of SIL's dissatisfaction.

Stick to less controversial topics like e.g.
- The role of the GRU in the Skripal case
- Aussie ball tampering and tears before bedtime
- The potential that China and Russia may takeover Venezuela's oil assets
- Winnie "how do you like that necklace" Mandela's legacy
- The future role of the word "caveat" in message board posts

[Mellsblue]

So, Mrs Lizard has just informed me that she has invited our brother-in-law over for dinner tonight. This is not normally a problem, he's a decent enough bloke and we have enough common interests to get along just fine. My wife has not invited her sister (i.e. the BIL's wife) because she is away skiing (whether with friends or on her own isn't clear). This too is normally fine - they don't have kids (4-5 years married, she's early 40s, he's at least 50) and their work schedules aren't always aligned so they do their own things a bit.

The problem us that the last I heard, the SIL had made up her mind to leave the BIL. I don't know if she's told him that yet. I heard this as we werer driving home from our beach place last weekend, where we had spent Easter with the SIL & BIL.

So what's the etiquette here? Assuming he's still in the dark, should I give him a head's up on the basis of blokes' solidarity? Should I casually mention single women I know who might be within his league? Should I rub my perfectly successful (so far) marriage in his face with the unspoken point being that I clearly got the better of the sisters?* Or should I stick to our usual topics of rugby & cricket results, fishing, home brewing and why he hasn't finished restoring his car/fixing his boat/building his deck/renovating his "investment" property/getting a proper job?**


*To be fair, he probably has (or had) the 2nd best of the 4 sisters (and 2 brothers - I don't discriminate)
**I believe that this character trait may be one of the causes of SIL's dissatisfaction.

- The future role of the word "caveat" in message board posts

I believe it has been decreed that the future of ‘caveat’ is finalised, and with no caveats.

The best you can do for him is to show some solidarity. At the start of the evening, tell him the story of the time you sat in first class on a flight to Fiji whilst your wife sat in economy with the kids. If your wife is anything like the long suffering Mrs Mellsblue, the atmosphere between you will suddenly sour and will only worsen with every glass of wine. For the rest of the meal you and your brother-in-law can exchange knowing glances across the table about how crazy woman are.
Have you considered that your wife has invited him over so that she can give him the news about the impending divorce?

[cashead]

Seduce her with an erotic ballad.

[Donny osmond]

Tell him! Solidarity brother! Nah only kidding, stay well out of it, this is your wife and sister's problem. Potential for comedy tho with chat about careers, so try that out.

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[Lizard]

So, Mrs Lizard has just informed me that she has invited our brother-in-law over for dinner tonight. This is not normally a problem, he's a decent enough bloke and we have enough common interests to get along just fine. My wife has not invited her sister (i.e. the BIL's wife) because she is away skiing (whether with friends or on her own isn't clear). This too is normally fine - they don't have kids (4-5 years married, she's early 40s, he's at least 50) and their work schedules aren't always aligned so they do their own things a bit.

The problem us that the last I heard, the SIL had made up her mind to leave the BIL. I don't know if she's told him that yet. I heard this as we werer driving home from our beach place last weekend, where we had spent Easter with the SIL & BIL.

So what's the etiquette here? Assuming he's still in the dark, should I give him a head's up on the basis of blokes' solidarity? Should I casually mention single women I know who might be within his league? Should I rub my perfectly successful (so far) marriage in his face with the unspoken point being that I clearly got the better of the sisters?* Or should I stick to our usual topics of rugby & cricket results, fishing, home brewing and why he hasn't finished restoring his car/fixing his boat/building his deck/renovating his "investment" property/getting a proper job?**


*To be fair, he probably has (or had) the 2nd best of the 4 sisters (and 2 brothers - I don't discriminate)
**I believe that this character trait may be one of the causes of SIL's dissatisfaction.

- The future role of the word "caveat" in message board posts

I believe it has been decreed that the future of ‘caveat’ is finalised, and with no caveats.

The best you can do for him is to show some solidarity. At the start of the evening, tell him the story of the time you sat in first class on a flight to Fiji whilst your wife sat in economy with the kids. If your wife is anything like the long suffering Mrs Mellsblue, the atmosphere between you will suddenly sour and will only worsen with every glass of wine. For the rest of the meal you and your brother-in-law can exchange knowing glances across the table about how crazy woman are.
Have you considered that your wife has invited him over so that she can give him the news about the impending divorce?

Ha! Mrs Liz loves telling that story. Good egg, my missus. Definitely the best sister.

In the end BIL declined the invitation. Maybe he knows?

[Stones of granite]

Good egg, my missus. Definitely the best sister.

Good that you think that way. The alternative could end badly, especially if the other sister becomes "available "

[SerjeantWildgoose]

So, its been 3 weeks Liz. Have ye had a go on the sister yet?

[Buggaluggs]

So, its been 3 weeks Liz. Have ye had a go on the sister yet?

...or the BIL?

[morepork]

Hell, why not both. You'd be a legend in the Tron.

[Lizard]

Funny thing. After all the drama and hushed sisterly phone calls, it seems she hasn’t left him after all. Or not yet, any way.

So none of that, son.

[kk67]

Meeeoww. What a bunch of professional biaatches. You feckers are lovin' this like it'll never happen to you.

[Zhivago]

This thread reminded me of this great French comedy...

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2179121/

Highly recommended...

[theboyeedj]

I would have tried subtlety by playing related tunes all evening like:-
"Leaving on a let plane"
"Evil woman"
And playing hypothetical questions like, "what's the first thing you'd do if SIL ran off with a ski instructor called Rolf?".

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[Doorzetbornandbred]

Funny thing. After all the drama and hushed sisterly phone calls, it seems she hasn’t left him after all. Or not yet, any way.

So none of that, son.

Liz have you a picture of the SIL you can share just for future reference incase she appears on any "sites".

[Lizard]

Guys, guys, guys - this thread is nearly three years old!

I’m not about to post pics of my SIL on t’internet but I’m sure you can imagine someone who looks much like Mrs Liz but with a darker tint to her hair and smaller tits.

She is still with the BIL, BTW.

[Doorzetbornandbred]

Guys, guys, guys - this thread is nearly three years old!

I’m not about to post pics of my SIL on t’internet but I’m sure you can imagine someone who looks much like Mrs Liz but with a darker tint to her hair and smaller tits.

She is still with the BIL, BTW.

Has BIL finished his project house and done the old classic car up yet?

[theboyeedj]

I don't think BIL has done SIL yet in the last 3 years so the car is probably done now.

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[Lizard]

Guys, guys, guys - this thread is nearly three years old!

I’m not about to post pics of my SIL on t’internet but I’m sure you can imagine someone who looks much like Mrs Liz but with a darker tint to her hair and smaller tits.

She is still with the BIL, BTW.

Has BIL finished his project house and done the old classic car up yet?

Oh shit no. The deck (now 3 or 4 years in) has decking and proper doors leading out but I think the balustrade is yet to go on (and this thing is about 3 metres off the ground). He wants to put in a glass balustrade but the glass that he bought off the back of a truck before even building the deck (and has been leaning against his house collecting moss ever since) now doesn't meet code because Council now requires a higher standard of toughened glass. Apparently some mate can get him a deal on the right sort of glass but not right now or some reason.

The Thunderbird is now drivable. Although I should say Thunderbirds as he had to buy another one for parts. The problem is that he doesn't really get that classic cars are by necessity an ongoing hobby, not merely a static possession. He reckons the paint job should be the last thing so it doesn't get dinged up while doing other work. Of course with a car that is cobbled together from 2 vehicles, both over 50 years old, there will always be more work. So it will probably never get painted so he can never really take part in the car shows which was the whole point of getting a T-bird in the first place.

The boat project seems to have stalled for lack of time.

And did I mention that BIL and SIL love snowboarding? The nearest ski-field is about a 5 hour drive so a few years back (maybe 5?) they bought a plot of land "to build on" that is about 50 minutes away from the mountain. They now regularly rent a house in the same village and have picnic dinners on their bare land after going snowboarding.

The entertainment to be had from discussing all this is almost bottomless. BIL is pretty cheerful about it too.

[Lizard]

Speaking of classic cars, a mate of mine came to NZ from the UK to marry his Kiwi GF (Mrs Liz's BFF) and brought with him his "mistress" - a beautiful British Racing Green MG C. He used to love that car and you could see the gleam in his eye as he took it out for a spin just knowing that an hour's driving pleasure would lead to a half-day's fun replacing a piston head or something.

Recently though, he's confessed that the love has gone and he wants to sell it. I asked him why, and with dead eyes he said, "British engineering. The first time I had to dismantle and reassemble the windscreen wiper motors was interesting. It also made it easier for the second time I had to do it. The third time was just annoying - you'd think they would have designed them so they didn't fill up with water in the rain."

So if anyone wants to buy a very well-maintained MG C, let me know. (I believe that shipping cars between NZ and the UK is not as expensive as you might think.)

[Lizard]

Guys, guys...you'll never guess what's happened!

So I'm sitting at work today and I get a msg from Mrs Liz saying that her sister (and this will shock you) is definitely, absolutely, you-betcha going to leave the BIL. Again.

To rewind, since the last update, pretty much nothing has changed. I'm fairly sure that BIL was never informed of the precipice he was treading when this fred started. Deck: not finished. Boat: still deteriorating. Skiing house: still just grass. T-bird: oh my word. He borrowed our beach place recently to go the major classic car festival in NZ which is held nearby. He drove there in a Corolla.

Back to today; so I ask what he's done now. Apparently it's a "communication" problem. Given how things went when they were here for dinner last week, I'm guessing he doesn't communicate because the poor bloke can't get a word in edgewise while SIL constantly bitches about the job she won't work hard enough at to get promoted out of. Seriously, 3 courses of blah blah about a mid-level sales-drone role. Spare me.

After a bit of chat with Mrs L about how SIL might need to stay with us for a bit (that's ok - she's a good babysitter and I'm allowed to not listen to her crap) and so on, I think to ask, "Um, so, has she actually told him this time?" So what do you reckon? Had she? Like fuck she has. He's away for a few days so she's running this shit up the flagpole again, looking for moral support.

Honestly, I'm tempted to text the old boy and tell him to get first mover advantage and just pull the pin by WhatsApp now; save coming home to an nice, peaceful, empty, nearly finished house.

[Doorzetbornandbred]

Guys, guys...you'll never guess what's happened!

So I'm sitting at work today and I get a msg from Mrs Liz saying that her sister (and this will shock you) is definitely, absolutely, you-betcha going to leave the BIL. Again.

To rewind, since the last update, pretty much nothing has changed. I'm fairly sure that BIL was never informed of the precipice he was treading when this fred started. Deck: not finished. Boat: still deteriorating. Skiing house: still just grass. T-bird: oh my word. He borrowed our beach place recently to go the major classic car festival in NZ which is held nearby. He drove there in a Corolla.

Back to today; so I ask what he's done now. Apparently it's a "communication" problem. Given how things went when they were here for dinner last week, I'm guessing he doesn't communicate because the poor bloke can't get a word in edgewise while SIL constantly bitches about the job she won't work hard enough at to get promoted out of. Seriously, 3 courses of blah blah about a mid-level sales-drone role. Spare me.

After a bit of chat with Mrs L about how SIL might need to stay with us for a bit (that's ok - she's a good babysitter and I'm allowed to not listen to her crap) and so on, I think to ask, "Um, so, has she actually told him this time?" So what do you reckon? Had she? Like fuck she has. He's away for a few days so she's running this shit up the flagpole again, looking for moral support.

Honestly, I'm tempted to text the old boy and tell him to get first mover advantage and just pull the pin by WhatsApp now; save coming home to an nice, peaceful, empty, nearly finished house.

Attention seeking on her part, ignore her.

[Lizard]

Right, so I can tell you're all gagging for an update. A couple of days after my last post, SIL posts in the extended family WhatsApp group that she and BIL are separating. Now he's still away at this point. He is also (sensibly) not a member of this WhatsApp group. It's Mrs Liz, her mum, her step-Mum, her oldest sister, the SIL in question, her younger lesbian sister, her oldest brother, her oldest brother's stupid fat Australian wife, and her youngest but still older brother (and of course muggins here). Fuck knows when, how, or if ever SIL actually told BIL what was going on.

After a few days I asked Mrs Liz if she knew what the final straw was. She said apparently it was "something to do with the basement." Now their house is built over a steep slope and has a large, dirt-floored basement that is used as storage for garden implements etc. and all the shit BIL has hoarded for his never-never projects. He has talked about turning the space into proper rooms but obviously hasn't lifted a finger to do so because he's too busy not finishing the deck/T-bird/boat and so forth. So I assume SIL has got the shits because he's not built her a promised hobby room or some such. But no. No what he's gone and done is arranged for this otherwise wasted space to be put to good use by others. Specifically, he's let his neighbour move in a large-scale, professional cannabis growing operation.

SIL ended up housesitting for us for a week while we were away on school hols. She's a clean-and-tidy-while-stressed person, so that was OK. I think she's at a friends now.

Last I heard, BIL is arranging marriage counselling for them. Good luck trying to both-sides this one!

[Lizard]

So I sent BIL an "R U OK?" and he said that in fact SIL had moved back in conditionally on him sorting his shit out. Of course having called trumps on separation and leading pretty strongly in that suit, SIL hadn't mentioned that development to either Mrs Liz or their mum.