Austin Gilgronis

[Puja]

I feel like this deserved a thread of its own, just for the sheer scale of WhatTheFuck.

So, Austin's MLR team has been circling the drain for a bit. In the opening season, as the Austin Elite, they only decided on their base last minute, ending up at a converted sports centre miles away from the city. They also pissed off the two big rugby teams in the city, refusing to work with them or even trial any of the local players, with a French coach saying it was pointless because there was no talent in the local area. They sucked due to trying to build a team entirely out of imports (and performing the Leicester trick of meh-in-depth) and got no fans because of a shitty field in a shitty location, after pissing off a big chunk of their inbuilt audience.

Season 2 was worse still, as they moved to an 11,000 baseball stadium with terrible viewing angles and where their 1,000 crowds would seem even smaller than before. They lost every game as well. Elite was not a good moniker for this bunch

Going into Season 3, there was talk of them being bought out and moved to Ohio or San Antonio, but the ownership rallied and decided to have one last go. They settled back at the original converted sports centre with a slightly better set of stands, rebuilt bridges with the rugby community, and rebranded as the Austin Herd. I thought that was a pretty crappy name - it's Texas themed, but Bulls is a classic nickname for a reason if you wanted to go cattle, and Herd sounds like you're lining up for the slaughter. Still, there was hope that they might not be a complete embarrassment this season and that things were going in the right direction.

Then, this happened:


https://www.majorleague.rugby/news/aust ... 20-season/

They have been bought out by a new ownership group who have moved them to a 5k soccer stadium at Circuit of the Americas much closer to Austin city centre (great), brought in a new coach who was the ABs skills coach when they won the RWC in 2011 and 2015 (excellent), made a big deal about engaging local people and bringing in families and making each game day an event (wonderful), and rebranding the whole team to be the Austin Gilgronis (wait, what?!).

The “Gilgronis” are named after a new Texas-sized cocktail, to be released soon.

What the actual fuck?

I will also note that this madness has happened 10 days before the start of the season. I don't think any other fan in the world can complain about a stupid nickname foisted on their team by suits anymore, this has officially taken the biscuit and won the game, well played other crappy marketing departments but a winner has been declared. A not yet released cocktail. Outstanding.

And when even the Freejacks are taking cheap shots, you know you've got a ridiculous name:



Puja

[morepork]

That is all kinds of fucked up. Sure, you got some sponsorship, but I'm not seeing particularly passionate investment in a brand based on a sugary tatty beverage. Its so deliciously nouveau riche. Like people that go to expensive restaurants and order a glass of diet coke with a straw in it.

[Puja]

That is all kinds of fucked up. Sure, you got some sponsorship, but I'm not seeing particularly passionate investment in a brand based on a sugary tatty beverage. Its so deliciously nouveau riche. Like people that go to expensive restaurants and order a glass of diet coke with a straw in it.

Mind, it works for Red Bull. Although that at least is an energy drink that brands itself as physical and outgoing. I don't know what goes into a gilgroni and, more importantly, I don't care.

Turns out it's an Antipodean's fault - Adam Gilchrist (the investor, not the cricketer) is the guy with the money who has bought in. Imagine having an ego so big that you not only name a drink after yourself, but purchase and rename a sports team in order to promote it.

Puja

[morepork]

Its peak tack. The bastard love child of the unholy union of a cunt with himself.

I predict he loses the changing room within 3 months.