England vs New Zealand - minute-by-minute

[FKAS]

"Parker attempts to carry hard into England's defensive line and wrest the momentum back, but unfortunately for him, he's picked out Sam Underhill to run at"

Do not do this.

"this time it's Josh Lord who decides running into Sam Underhill would be a great idea"

Guys please.

It's not even like he's chasing them down - they're just running right into the maw and looking confused as to what's happening when they get dumped backwards.

Puja

If you're an international rugby player without the sense to look at who the big hitters in the opposition defence are and avoid them then quite frankly you deserve your ribs being rearranged. Not like Underhill is an unknown quantity. He's been hitting like a car to the midriff for about a decade now.

[Which Tyler]

Once again - thank you so much for doing these Puma - though I do worry about you, and the silly o'clock time of some of your postings

[Puja]

Minute 56: Ford dabs over the easy 2 points. Replay shows how good the line from Lawrence was - he makes a little outwards step just before contact, drawing in Tupaea, by reinforcing that he's definitely crashing it up cause he's looking for a weak shoulder. He never looks at Dingwall either, just blinker focus on the players he's running at. Filthy, filthy play, and I mean that as a compliment.

Dingwall's line is great as well. He starts wide, aims in towards Lawrence for most of the way like he's 100% just there for the clear-out, then angles away with the last three steps to change his line to head towards the hole. Full marks Blackett, cause that was clearly well-drilled on the training field - looks like a simple All Black mistake to a casual observer, but it's a mistake that we cultivated and earned with expert play. Wasn't chance - we made that happen. Very pleasing.

Anyway, back on with the game and England bring on the... I'm not going to dignify that name that the press've been using. I usually love a pun, but that one is a) shit and b) implies it's just copying the Saffers. We bring on our Pre-Planned Cadre Of Impact Players (Get ready for a GameChanger?), with Genge, Stuart, Pollock, and TCurry all on. Good play by Stretch Ballpong to try and capitalise on a high moment by bringing the energy even higher.

Unfortunately the plan is scuppered as Mitchell screws up the restart exit by putting his box-kick into touch having taken the ball back into the 22. Shame, cause it's either a fabulous touch kick from a brainfart, or it's a badly misdirected contestible kick as it lands a good 3m into touch. Either way, big error and hands momentum back to NZ, regardless of the PPCOIP.

Minute 57 & 58: Healey follows up his campaign of "Spencer should start against New Zealand" from last week, with "Spencer should come on now because he's 'better defensively' (ie. kicks the ball further and more often) to protect the lead." Everyone else in the country screams, "NO, YOU FUCKING IDIOT" at the television, which is confusing for several people who are not watching the rugby, but just felt compelled anyway.

England do a good job of marking New Zealand's short lineout manoeuvrings, so they throw the low escape ball to Tamaiti Williams at the front. New Zealand go through several phases, but are met with staunch English defence without a hint of bending or breaking. We're not blitzing, but we are going harder at the rucks in this movement and unfortunately it gives away a penalty as Coles attempts to abort a jackal on the ref's shout of "No 'ands!" but accidentally knocks the ball free as he lets go. NZ go for several phases without success until BBarrett decides to launch a massive deep miss-pass that goes to no-one in particular and we go back for the penalty.

Minute 59: Once again, New Zealand show confidence/arrogance in eschewing the easy 3 points and going for the try. They tap and go, but get rebuffed with the big ball carrier first phase and so then try again with a pull-back ball that leads to... this:

a4v0mu.jpg

I don't generally tend to do pictures in these m-b-ms, mostly because they're a pain in my neck and I can't be bothered, partly because the board screams if we use too many images, and partly because the gods know that it's not like I don't hit the 1000 words per picture with these rants, but I just had to stop and secure that screenshot to show you.

Cause that's weird, right? That's not just me? That's New Zealand, the sublime attackers and savants of the sport, from a tap penalty where they can run whatever move they like, ending up in a situation after just one phase, where all 15 players are one side of the posts, 14 of them are within a 15m wide channel, and 12 of them are ahead of the ball carrier. Half of them are running sideways, no-one's offering an option - it looks like a EA Sports Rugby screenshot from 2005. In fact, here:



Tell me that's not got the same vibes?

"I'll be concise," I said. "I won't take forever and write hundreds and hundreds of words about pointless things," I said. I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I'm a fucking liar.

Also, it's possible that my ADHD meds are wearing off. Regardless, Damian McKenzie is the player with the ball in this screenshot and decides very sensibly to avoid throwing the intercept and instead cuts back inside, dodging offside bodies as he does, whereupon he is promptly blindsided by Coles and loses the ball in the tackle.

The ball rolls to Genge's feet and, full marks to him, he avoids the temptation to be grateful for the turnover and just barrel into the first Kiwi he can find to set up a ruck. Instead he goes on a little sideways run to find space. Even better, he then draws a tackle and passes to Earl, who puts in a nice wide pass and suddenly, we're on!

3 on 1 overlap, with Pollock, TCurry, and Roebuck - this should be a 60m break, if not an outright try, but unfortunately Pollock fucks it right up (sorry Dors). The safe option is to straighten and run at Lakai's inside shoulder, which will make the last man have to turn in, and allow him an easy pass to TCurry, who can then feed Roebuck. Unfortunately, Polly sees an opposition back rower, has the clear thought bubble above his head of "I can get round him" and sets off for the wide outside himself. It's possible that he's right - if he absolutely sets the afterburners going, he would probably round Lakai before he runs out of pitch and make the break himself. Unfortunately, halfway through, he has a moment of doubt, as Lakai is clearly faster than he was expecting, and he realises that he's gambled when he had a 3-on-1 with a winger outside and now he's not 100% sure that he can make it. So he changes his mind and feeds Roebuck instead, having eaten up a tonne of space and not slowed or drawn Lakai at all.

Roebuck does make it past halfway, but Jordan has come across to cover and, because Lakai is coming across on the inside, Roebuck can't threaten to go inside and instead has to try and use footwork to beat him on the outside only. He gets tackled towards touch and his offload inside to Pollock gets dropped because Polly is a) in front of him and b) taken man-and-ball by Lakai.

It's an experience thing and one which no doubt Blackett will take him to task for as a learning experience. Hopefully the lesson learned is that he should be taking the selfless, sensible, 100% option in that scenario but, if he does believe he can make it himself, fucking commit to it and be prepared to buy the winger a drink if it turns out he was wrong. Half-and-half helps no-one.

Minute 60: No scrummaging occurs in this minute.

[Puja]

Minute 61: Piardi takes a long time, with the clock stopped, to give both packs a ticking off. It pays off to a certain extent - the next scrum stays up long enough for NZ to get the ball in, at which point Genge attacks and gets him opposite number to buckle slightly, at which point the entire pack goes through him and New Zealand fold like a deckchair ordered from Wish. Ratima tries to get the ball away, but Pollock breaks to snag him and make sure we get the decision. Polly then leaps on top of him and gives him a little shove while crowing like Peter Pan, which isn't a great look, but probably works quite well as a wind-up.

Minute 62: Another terrific England lineout - NZ cover the front this time, so England feign like they're dummying there, break to lift in the middle which suckers SBarrett into jumping, but it's another dummy and they instead go one pod backwards for clean ball with Coles. People were getting het up about our "lineout going to pieces", but realistically NZ had one purple patch in the first half where they read us really well and pinched 3/4 lineouts and, since then, we've been immaculate. We haven't lost one in the second half and they've all been excellent quality ball - frankly, I think there's been something of an overreaction among fans.

We go off the top and send Lawrence on the crash ball, which New Zealand watch very closely indeed. Sadly, the presentation/clearout isn't clean and it's not the quick ball that we need to take advantage. We do give two more forward runs with the dummy runner in front - the first makes ground and gives quick ball, but TCurry fumbles the pass on the second and it lands directly into Lakai's hands and New Zealand suddenly have a 5-on-2 down the left, as we were all sweeping right for the next phase.

Lakai demonstrates that he learns from example by straightening and running at the inside shoulder of his man to commit and pass, however Proctor ruins his good work when, with ball in his hands, one defender to beat and Carter and Jordan outside, he decides to belt it downfield. It's a decent kick, but it should've been a try. We'd be screaming at Farrell for that.

MSmith gets to the ball first and has enough time to turn and see the trouble he's in. He does his best to run between two players, but doesn't stay on his feet long enough in contact and he's unfortunate that the referee gives the quickest holding-on penalty of the day as Carter's fingers briefly brush against the ball before he's rucked away. Tbf, not really a lot Marcus could do in that situation.

Minute 63: New Zealand kick for touch but somehow don't make the 5m line. Their basics have gone to hell. The lineout's not great either and they nearly lose it before Maro gets a sneaky hand in to knock the ball free. The ref initially gives it as a NZ knock-on, despite the ball clearly travelling backwards towards their line, so it's good to see he's equal opportunity in not having the first clue which way forward is. Then the TMO steps in to point out that it's actually Maro and the correct decision of a NZ penalty is given.

Minute 64: We compete hard on the NZ lineout, but they get it down at the back and form a maul. It looks threatening for a minute or two, but Coles is working his way through the middle and worrying the ball carrier, so he tries to shift position and ends up tangled up in the middle. The ball spills free and IFW leaps on it to go the length, but the referee has already called "Advantage, from the side 6!" and so we go back for another penalty at which point Earl is yellow-carded.

This is a baffling call. For a start, he's not in at the side - Simon Parker is clearly bound on his outside, but just really ineffectively and Earl splits through the gap between the two. He does, however, immediately and very obviously, try to go to floor the minute he wraps his arms around the ball, so it's probably fair to give a penalty, just not for the offence the referee saw! It's a harsh yellow card considering New Zealand weren't really going anywhere and didn't have clean possession, but given the yellow New Zealand received, it's hardly a great injustice in the grand scheme of things.

Minute 65: New Zealand go to the front and set a good maul. We rebuff it at first, but they get the roll infield which spooks Polly and makes him join, at which point the hooker breaks away with the ball and runs at the undefended IFW and Ford. IFW is brushed off, but Ford does a good job and gets him down before the line. However, Lawrence panicked and stepped in, which means Dingwall has to step in, which means we're incredibly short out wide. New Zealand do still nearly screw it up by passing to a forward who goes for glory, but they recycle quickly and eventually pass the ball to the backs for Jordan to score under the posts.

[Puja]

Minute 66: That pass from McKenzie to Jordan is **flat**. It's not forward enough to be overturned on a TMO call, but it's definitely very lateral. Lucky to get away with it. McKenzie knocks over the easy conversion and it's 25-19.

Minute 67: Ropey kickoff from Ford, but a ropey return box-kick from Ratima, which leaves an England lineout on the 10m line. Unfortunately, LCD's throw is called not straight - an argument can be made that NZ were allowed to close the gap and so LCD was adjusting to try and put it slightly down our side as there was no gap to throw it down, but it's probably the right call. We should've protested about the gap at the time, especially since we're leading and counting down a yellow card.

Minute 68: Genge attacks again at this scrum, only for Tosi to drop like he's a coward in a heist film when the bank robber's demanded everyone get on the floor. The touch judge gives the penalty against Genge for losing his bind, which is risible, as it's nigh impossible to keep a bind on a player determined to run away from you.

Minute 69: McKenzie attempts to use the advantage with a cross-field kick and it's a lovely effort, but MSmith has read it well and races up to tackle Fainga'anuku as he takes it, making enough of an impact to spoil the offload to Jordan and cause a knock-on. Back for the scrum penalty, which New Zealand once again shank into touch.

Ellis Genge is having a polite word with the referee which includes the phrase, "We just pushed them off their own ball; I'm not gonna pull it down!"

New Zealand go off the top, fling it into midfield and send ALB at Ford, who is hiding at 12. Ford does a decent job in bringing him down, so NZ recycle and go wide again, only for Dingwall to put in a lovely chop tackle, causing the NZ clearer to leave their feet in fear of Polly pocketing the jackal turnover. Penalty England, and New Zealand really do look a beaten team. This is very different to 2019 - back then, I was writing the m-b-m saying how much I'd feared the NZ comeback and that, even at 19-7 with 5 minutes to go, I was trying to work out how we'd cope when they inevitably scored two quick tries and we'd need to get a pen or drop goal to stay in the lead. This game, I remember being irked that they were within 7 because it'd just be unjust if they snatched it with some lucky bounce of the ball.

Minute 70: Ford makes the 22 with his touch kick and England have an attacking lineout.

[Stom]

Anyway, back on with the game and England bring on the... I'm not going to dignify that name that the press've been using. I usually love a pun, but that one is a) shit and b) implies it's just copying the Saffers. We bring on our Pre-Planned Cadre Of Impact Players (Get ready for a GameChanger?), with Genge, Stuart, Pollock, and TCurry all on. Good play by Stretch Ballpong to try and capitalise on a high moment by bringing the energy even higher.

You could call it our Mulligan


Good work as ashtrays (always! Leaving the autocorrect nonsense in as a reminder to always proofread), Pooj

[Mellsblue]

Good work as ashtrays, Pooj

Harsh. Didn’t think it was too bad.

[Which Tyler]

A reminder from our legal department - please do not put out your cigarettes on mod.s
(that's what rockers are for)

[Stom]

Good work as ashtrays, Pooj

Harsh. Didn’t think it was too bad.

I swear the autocorrect has become increasingly useless, ffs.

Always was the right word. Always. I don’t even see how that’s close to ashtray…

[Puja]

Good work as ashtrays, Pooj

Harsh. Didn’t think it was too bad.

I swear the autocorrect has become increasingly useless, ffs.

Always was the right word. Always. I don’t even see how that’s close to ashtray…

Frankly, I'm just happy someone got one of my obscure references, so you can call me what you like. I've already had Puma in this thread from Which!

Puja

[loudnconfident]

After all, if we are going to riff on Something Bewildering's name, why not our Moderator's?

[Which Tyler]

Frankly, I'm just happy someone got one of my obscure references, so you can call me what you like. I've already had Puma in this thread from Which!

I can go with Pumbaa if you prefer

[Puja]

Minute 71: And just as I praise our lineout recovery, we lose one - we get lazy and just go to the back without any movement or dummies, but New Zealand have read it and get their lift up in front of us, with a one-hand slap enough to tap it back to their side. That's one part excellent defence and one part a bad call by us - I think maybe we were expecting them to stay down and defend the drive, which is a dumb thing considering how hard they've been competing.

New Zealand boot it long, Roebuck gathers and returns the favour, and McKenzie puts a high ball up instead. Ford is retreating back to get under it and looks like he's going to be easy meat for the advancing chaser to smash, but shows all his experience by taking his time to look at what's around him and where the chaser is coming, holding his ground to give himself room and then running backwards onto the catch. That means that he's running away from the tackler, rather than having his feet planted, and it give him an extra half second to offload to Mitchell before he's pummelled in the kidneys. Looks like an instinctive and fortunate offload on first glance, but he's planned that from the moment he looks over his shoulder to see Carter thundering up on him.

Mitchell repays him with a nice low kick that could've been a 50:22 if McKenzie was slightly less well positioned, but unfortunately he gets around in time to just take it on the full. Mitchell has an opportunity to take him out way behind his forwards, but a rather limp tackle attempt lets McKenzie pull his feet away and he runs up to halfway before being brought down by our main line.

Taukei'aho is lucky to get on the right side of a 50/50 about whether he's held in a tackle or not before going again, but the few extra metres don't embolden NZ and they set for the caterpillar and box.

Minute 72: They say a bad kick can be made good by the chase; well, this is a solidly okay kick made terrible. The kind way to describe the Kiwi pursuit of the kick is languid - not a single player puts the hammer down to get there in time to contest with Ford for the catch. Fainga'anuku manages the impressive achievement of both arriving too late and too early - he's far too late to beat Ford to the ball, but then overruns him when Ford jumps for it, and compounds the error by deciding to stick his arm out as he goes through and hook Ford's leg out from under him to give away a penalty. We may criticise Stop Ballkicking on occasions, but our kick-chase is a well-oiled and efficient machine and it's kinda embarrassing watching New Zealand amateurishly try to copy it for lack of any other ideas.

Piardi gets cross with someone and says "I'm stopping the clock because I'm not happy with the way you're talking" - when watching live, I thought it was England because I heard him say Maro at one point, but it's actually SBarrett who's getting told off (and Maro is namechecked when he comes in to try and stir the pot a little and is told by the ref that, "Maro please, this is a conversation for us two, we don't need you here"). New Zealand utterly going to pieces as SBarrett won't shut up, even when clearly pissing off the ref. He's complaining about a no-arms tackle, but the ref says the TMO's cleared it and I can't see what they were complaining about on replay.

The stopped clock allows a lot of action in this minute, so we get the lineout done - this one has a lot more disguise and we sucker New Zealand to jump at the front before Maro pops up as a hidden option in the middle. We build a nice maul that is disrupted by some questionably legal All Black shenanigans - possibility of getting a fast secondary drive on as they splinter, but it'd come with the risk of becoming disconnected and losing the ball, so Mitchell calls it out and puts up an attacking box-kick into the 22. Very nearly works - Roebuck jumps highest and comes close to taking it cleanly, but the competition from McKenzie spills it loose and it's a scrum to New Zealand. Real shame - if he catches that, he's scoring.

Minute 73: Healey gets his wish and Spencer is on.

The scrum is excellent - Tosi attempts to work his arm and twist Genge in, only for Genge to respond with a physical, "Aww, that's so cute," drop his height to resist and then drive straight into him, using Tosi's attempted twist to turn him inwards and destroy him. Sadly, the ref isn't paying attention, but thankfully he's also not paying attention to Polly flagrantly breaking his bind so he can go scrag Ratima, so it does even out a bit. Ratima does well to get to the floor and New Zealand eventually clear to touch and England get to have another lineout about 10m further forward than the one from the previous minute.

Minute 74: New Zealand close the gap, England step off and shift the mark to keep it open, LCD takes a full step to his left to stay in the middle - utter chaos that the ref just lets go. We have opted for a 4-man line with a simple move - one pod at the front where we dummy, then the back lifter sprints back to front lift the back man and the "9" steps in behind as the back lifter. It's a manoeuvre that relies on speed and precision cause it's not subtle, but works if you can beat the opposition to lifting the back man. England do it excellently, hoisting TCurry, and LCD hits him at the top of his jump. New Zealand do read it very well and manage to get into position to get a jumper up to compete, but they're not quite fast enough to beat us there, and their rush means their lifters lose control of Sititi and end up chucking him across the line instead of lifting him straight. He lands on top of our front lifter, which takes TCurry out in the air and gives away a penalty.

A last note on England's lineout. The stats say 14 lineouts, 8 won, 6 lost for 57% success rate, which is obviously not ideal, but one of those losses is from Roebuck's offside for the Ford non-try, which seems exceedingly harsh to put on the statistics that way. Of the 5 actual lineout losses, 3 of those were consecutively in one period from minute 7 to 22 in the first half, when New Zealand had worked us out. England then rearranged things on the pitch, without changing personnel, to take 80% for the rest of the game, all of them clean ball that we could attack off (counting the Roebuck offside as a successful lineout, as there was nothing wrong with the actual lineout). This game has gone down in the general opinion as an England lineout calamity - I'm seeing it as we worked a problem out on the fly and overcame it. Much happier with that than I would be with a 90% success rate where we went unchallenged.

Spencer isn't particularly speedy about getting the ball away to use the advantage, so the ref blows his whistle.

Minute 75: We opt for goal. I saw a report after the game which showed a photo of this kick and Ford's kick from the New Zealand game last year that bounced off the post and cost us the win - they are in almost the identical position. One year after his previous attempt, Ford strokes this one cleanly between the uprights and we have a 28-19 lead with 5 minutes to go.

[Puja]

Minute 76: Wild kick-off receipt from England. New Zealand kick a short one down the middle, England form a lifting pod to take it cleanly, and every England fan squints at the televisions and goes, "Wait... what? Was that fucking Fraser Dingwall getting lifted there??"

He does an excellent job - I expect to see him in a trick lineout play at some point in the future.

Spencer puts up the box-kick, which is high and long, but placed perfectly for TCurry to smash Carter - much better technique than his hit on Edmed from week 1

Minute 77: New Zealand go through phase after phase of attack, without ever looking likely to break the England defence. They look like they're all waiting for someone to do something special, for some break to come out of individual brilliance, and it's just being shut down time and time again by great English defence. Eventually, a forward tries a no-look pull-back ball and it goes nowhere near the intended recipient. Polly reacts far quicker than anyone else and accelerates towards the loose ball - it's rolling towards the Kiwis and it's looks like McKenzie is going to be able to dive on it, but Pollock's reaction time and speed means he's just able to reach with a despairing lunge of his left boot and toe-punt it away before McKenzie can land on it.

Because the bounce of a rugby ball always hates you, it squirms away sideways, instead of being in any position where Pollock can catch it, so he chases and throws his right boot at it this time, once again just before another Kiwi can dive to smother it. The ball jink just as he kicks and it ends up sliced off the side of his boot to go almost laterally across the pitch, but it ends up looking like a beautifully directed assist, as it rolls into the path of Roebuck. It won't sit up (and in fact has a go at changing direction and nutmegging him as he goes to pick it up), but Roebuck manages a superb pick-up on the run to make it in at the corner.

Minute 78: Replays show that we're probably lucky that the Television Marius Official hasn't had a look at that one - Polly attempts to be clever and do the thing where you block the cover defence by being in a position to take a return pass, but the sideways kick and Roebuck's stumble as he picks up the recalcitrant ball means that Pollock is ahead of him and a "clever" block is actually just a block that should've been penalised. Completely pointless too, as ALB was never going to get there to stop Roebuck anyway, so it would've been infuriating to have the try chalked off for that.

Clear video of the moment here, in case anyone's interested:

Hardest kick of Ford's day and sadly he can't quite curl it in, and it stays at a 14 point gap. Probably fair - we deserve a convincing victory with how thoroughly we've shut the All Blacks down, but it's not a performance worthy of a thumping.

New Zealand have given up on trying to compete and just kick it long to Earl.

Minute 79: Spencer attempts to get himself into my good books - he takes an age over his kick, as per usual, but it's worth the wait - going from the edge of the 22 to finding touch over the halfway line.

Lawrence comes off for CCS - at the time it looked bizarre that an impact player was being held back for a minute and a half cameo, but given Lawrence is out of the Arg match with a hamstring, it's possibly just sensible planning to keep one sub spare and protect for injuries. Earl goes into the centres, for what it's worth.

New Zealand take the lineout off the top and spin it wide - we press up and are quite narrow, with Roebuck way inside the 15m line, but it seems planned as, when New Zealand throw the big miss-pass to Fainga'anuku on the wing, MSmith has chased up while the ball was in the air to shut him down. He does step inside, but our cover is there and we bring him down about a metre further forward than the mark of the lineout.

Next phase, New Zealand attempt to outflank us by going deep and wide again, but we press up and catch them 10m behind the gainline. Unfortunately, Stuart rolls the wrong way in the tackle and gets in the way - he'd probably have got away with it as he doesn't really impede anyone, but Genge has locked in on the ball and the ref has to give the penalty.

NZ tap and go and a phenomenal offload out of the tackle from Sititi does stretch us for a second, but Polly does well to chase across and make the tackle.

Minute 80: Will Jordan luxuriates in the fact that Sam Underhill is no longer on the pitch and he can now run a switch play and crash into the England defence without dange... oh no, he's just been hammered backwards by Stuart. New Zealand spend a chunk of this minute generally going backwards, but unfortunately Dingwall is half a step offside in the backline and gets pinged by a call from the touch judge. Poor penalty to give away - no real need for it and just a lack of discipline. Feyi-Waboso puts in a lovely jackal next phase, so we come back for the penalty.

New Zealand attempt to go quickly and are fortunate that the referee calls them back for being off the mark, as McKenzie has got overenthused, kicked the tap higher than he intended and is on the verge of getting some of his ribs removed by Coles before the ref blows his whistle. Instead, they kick for the corner and get a lineout just inside the 22.

Minute 81: Coles does a terrific job at the lineout - tracking the Kiwi jumper and then jumping without a back lifter and still getting high enough to compete. His presence spooks Taukei'aho into overthrowing and LCD collects it at the back. He passes it back to Earl, who catches, turns his back, and belts it into the crowd - understandable, but a crying shame, as New Zealand had nearly their entire team ready for an attacking play close to the lineout and one pass to Ford would've seen a 3-on-1 with IFW likely going the length to score under the posts. 40-19 would've been an incredibly unfair scoreline and not reflecting of the game, but do you know what else it would've been?

That's right - utterly hilarious.

Never mind, it matters not in the grand scheme - Earl ends the game and we go off to celebrate.

[Which Tyler]

Thank ypu Pumba

[Puja]

My initial impressions were broadly held up. Earl was incredible and would've been PotM if it weren't for Ford's heroics. Heyes was also superb - really noticeable in defence, cleared a lot of rucks and did a terrific job in the scrums.

The other two were a bit more wobbly. We were good first half and thwarted by New Zealand having a purple patch where they didn't make any mistakes or give us any ball whatsoever. That being said, some of that was due to us continually giving them the ball. Once we stopped doing that, they looked a lot less impervious.

The defence was passive, but I portrayed that as a bad thing on first watch, whereas on close examination, it was smothering and reduced New Zealand to ineptly attempting to copy our box-kicking when they ran out of ideas. Still needs work in places - we're not precise enough in our decision-making at rucks and we gave away far too many penalties both at the breakdown and in general (Itoje especially needs a word with himself for two extremely pointless lineout interference penalties - fine if you get away with skulduggery, but the fact that he got caught both times means he either needs to be stealthier or cleaner), but it is looking very promising.

The major thing I learned from doing the m-b-m was the surprise about just how well the lineout went after the initial burst of 1 win from 4 throws. To rejig and then get 80% from thereon out was highly impressive.

All things told, we shut down a very good side by attacking their strength and won a comfortable victory by changing our tactics and coming back after several things went wrong first half. Hopefully we've learned a lot and will keep improving from here!

Puja

[Puja]

Thank ypu Pumba

Kakuna rattata.

Punk

[Greebo]

Thank you Puja, much appreciated.

[fivepointer]

Great shift, thanks.

[Oakboy]

My initial impressions were broadly held up. Earl was incredible and would've been PotM if it weren't for Ford's heroics. Heyes was also superb - really noticeable in defence, cleared a lot of rucks and did a terrific job in the scrums.

The other two were a bit more wobbly. We were good first half and thwarted by New Zealand having a purple patch where they didn't make any mistakes or give us any ball whatsoever. That being said, some of that was due to us continually giving them the ball. Once we stopped doing that, they looked a lot less impervious.

The defence was passive, but I portrayed that as a bad thing on first watch, whereas on close examination, it was smothering and reduced New Zealand to ineptly attempting to copy our box-kicking when they ran out of ideas. Still needs work in places - we're not precise enough in our decision-making at rucks and we gave away far too many penalties both at the breakdown and in general (Itoje especially needs a word with himself for two extremely pointless lineout interference penalties - fine if you get away with skulduggery, but the fact that he got caught both times means he either needs to be stealthier or cleaner), but it is looking very promising.

The major thing I learned from doing the m-b-m was the surprise about just how well the lineout went after the initial burst of 1 win from 4 throws. To rejig and then get 80% from thereon out was highly impressive.

All things told, we shut down a very good side by attacking their strength and won a comfortable victory by changing our tactics and coming back after several things went wrong first half. Hopefully we've learned a lot and will keep improving from here!

Puja

Many thanks, Puja.

Regarding the lineout, was it a statistics/preparation/coaching cock-up? Did the players work out the solution for themselves or did the change come from the grandstand? Generally, if a throw is intercepted why repeat the play? Why take three losses to react? I've read your deeper comment on the other thread and am just churning things over. In yesteryear a loss or two would produce a safe one to the front.

I'm thinking ahead to France and Ireland. They have some good operators as well as NZ.

[Puja]

My initial impressions were broadly held up. Earl was incredible and would've been PotM if it weren't for Ford's heroics. Heyes was also superb - really noticeable in defence, cleared a lot of rucks and did a terrific job in the scrums.

The other two were a bit more wobbly. We were good first half and thwarted by New Zealand having a purple patch where they didn't make any mistakes or give us any ball whatsoever. That being said, some of that was due to us continually giving them the ball. Once we stopped doing that, they looked a lot less impervious.

The defence was passive, but I portrayed that as a bad thing on first watch, whereas on close examination, it was smothering and reduced New Zealand to ineptly attempting to copy our box-kicking when they ran out of ideas. Still needs work in places - we're not precise enough in our decision-making at rucks and we gave away far too many penalties both at the breakdown and in general (Itoje especially needs a word with himself for two extremely pointless lineout interference penalties - fine if you get away with skulduggery, but the fact that he got caught both times means he either needs to be stealthier or cleaner), but it is looking very promising.

The major thing I learned from doing the m-b-m was the surprise about just how well the lineout went after the initial burst of 1 win from 4 throws. To rejig and then get 80% from thereon out was highly impressive.

All things told, we shut down a very good side by attacking their strength and won a comfortable victory by changing our tactics and coming back after several things went wrong first half. Hopefully we've learned a lot and will keep improving from here!

Puja

Many thanks, Puja.

Regarding the lineout, was it a statistics/preparation/coaching cock-up? Did the players work out the solution for themselves or did the change come from the grandstand? Generally, if a throw is intercepted why repeat the play? Why take three losses to react? I've read your deeper comment on the other thread and am just churning things over. In yesteryear a loss or two would produce a safe one to the front.

I'm thinking ahead to France and Ireland. They have some good operators as well as NZ.

The issue is that there is no such thing as "a safe one to the front" nowadays - the third loss was actually an attempted throw to the front and New Zealand were waiting for it because they knew we'd be more likely to go there! It's always easier to spoil than it is to catch, because you can reach higher with one arm than two and the defender only has to get fingertips to it to fuck it up, while the attacker's trying to get enough control to do something useful with it.

The problem is momentum as well - when a defensive lineout feels like they have you on the ropes, they can load the front and middle with jumpers, offering you free back ball which is the most difficult to hit and the easiest for defenders to reposition themselves for. If you get inside the opposition caller's head, then you can pressurise them to throw where you want and defend there - that's what happened with our third in a row loss, as we went to the front and NZ were waiting.

Our reaction to the three consecutive losses was to go for the more difficult throws that were harder to mark, trusting George's ability to throw right to the back, but combine them with good movement that looked like we were going to the easy ones that they were expecting before launching it to the 15m line. Once we got a couple of those, New Zealand became more wary as we got great clean attacking ball, so they then stopped crowding the middle and had to stretch where their jumpers were placed to cover more ground. We then started picking off where they weren't - accepting free front ball a couple of times and attacking off it, which then meant that they brought their defenders forward, leaving space for us in the middle and back again.

Couldn't tell you whether it was a call from the pitch or the grandstand - I'd imagine pitch, but no way to tell what messages were sent on.

In order, our 6 lost lineouts were:
7 minutes - lost because it was a set move that didn't work in the slightest. Either we fucked it up somehow or it was a good idea on the training paddock that didn't survive contact with the enemy. Solution - don't try that again.
13 minutes - good move that is spoiled by terrific defence by New Zealand. Not a huge amount to be done.
22 minutes - we unsuccessfully attempt to sucker New Zealand into thinking that we're not jumping at the front, then jump at the front. Solution - don't be dogmatic to the call and change a dummy into a real jump if the opposition aren't going with you.

50 minutes - Roebuck's offside. Not a lineout issue as the throw and catch were clean
67 minutes - LCD throws not straight after NZ close the gap. Solution - make a big stroppy deal out of NZ closing the gap and make the referee reset it. Or acquire a more consistent hooker.
71 minutes - We throw to where New Zealand are marking without movement, hoping it'll take them by surprise. It does not. Solution - don't do that again.

So out of 6, there's one Roebuck, one insuperable bit of defence where you need to applaud, one hooker error, and three that were poor calls. Realistically, we are a better lineout-calling team with Chessum on the pitch and he was a big loss to the brains trust, so it's a problem that might fix itself, but hopefully this was a learning experience for Maro and for Coles - great that they worked out how to solve the problem and dig themselves out of the hole of NZ having the psychological momentum, but three poor calls is not acceptable and hopefully not going to be repeated again.

Puja

[Puja]

Just want to tickle your chin a little Puja to say I really appreciate your prose. This is a super rugby nerd endeavour that I would read regardless, but you always manage to entertain as well as inform.

(That should help if I'm ever up for a ban)

Also, thank you all for the praise and also the discussion of the things I've picked out. I swear that, every single time I post one of these, part of my brain tries to tell me, "Maybe everyone's really bored", so it is hugely validating to get these kind of messages and helps me shut up the stupid part of my brain. Don't anyone ever feel like you can't interrupt the flow to pick up something I've talked about or to argue about something - I usually write about 10-30 minutes out on a text document and then c&p them in here, so you're never spoiling my momentum and I'd much rather have the engagement than be posting into dead air.

I love that you all seem to enjoy these and seeing someone celebrate in the match thread when I mentioned I'd be doing this made my little heart glow. Thank you.

I am unlikely to do one for Argentina, unless it turns out to be unexpectedly enthralling or there is some particular aspect of it that I think would be edifying to go into (can't use delve anymore), but I shall definitely return for the 6N.

Puja

[Oakboy]

Splendid comprehensive explanation, thanks.

[Puja]

Splendid comprehensive explanation, thanks.

I speak as a hooker who regularly gets the yips myself, so screwing up lineouts is a specialist subject from experience!

Puja

[Oakboy]

Splendid comprehensive explanation, thanks.

I speak as a hooker who regularly gets the yips myself, so screwing up lineouts is a specialist subject from experience!

Puja

How much credit would you give the NZ coaches? After all, it is George and Itoje working with SB - not exactly a novice crew.