WaspInWales wrote:It will be interesting to see which solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict Trump will favour this week. He likes them both, they both work for him...although maybe he's got a secret solution to the issues that will save the day?
Perhaps a 3 or 4 state solution.
I'm laughing but it isn't funny.
It's not meant to be funny. The fwckwit probably doesn't know the difference between the two proposed solutions.
It seriously wouldn't surprise me if he told the world he had the real answer.
Afterall, he did defeat ISIS thanks to his special plan.
Monday
They treat me so badly. It’s very unfair. Worse than anybody else has ever been treated by anybody. And now they’re saying I gave information to the Russians. Which is ridiculous.
“You’ve never even met a Russian,” agrees Sean Spicer.
Then Kellyanne Conway says this was in the Oval Office and there are photos. Then Spicer says an alternative fact is that it wasn’t and there aren’t. Then Kellyanne says not to start all that again, please.
“I’m a smart guy,” I say. “The smartest. You ask my gastroenterologist. But I don’t see what I did wrong.”
Steve Bannon says there’s this idea that when somebody gives you intel, you shouldn’t share it.
“I don’t get it,” I say.
“Like eef I shared my money,” says Melania, who is staring distantly out of the window.
“My money,” I say.
“See?” says Steve.
“Oh,” I say.
Tuesday
I think I give Melania too much money. And I also think I need to speak to Putin. In fact, I’m just saying this to myself, out loud, when the red telephone rings and it’s him.
“You must be psychic,” I say.
“Or something,” agrees Putin. “Now. For vot reason you are vonting me phoning of?”
I tell Vlad that people are saying I’ve been speaking to him, so I’m speaking to him to see if he’ll speak to the fact that we never speak.
“Huh?” says Putin.
“I’m very clever,” I say. “Like, the cleverest. I don’t play chess but if I did I’d be great.”
Putin says the best thing is probably for me to give him a list of all the top-secret things I definitely haven’t told him. Just so he can make sure he doesn’t get it wrong when he has to explain what he doesn’t know.
The guy is wrapped around my little finger. Sad!
Wednesday
I’m watching Fox News in my bathrobe when Ivanka and Jared drop by. They’re looking grave.
“I don’t get it,” I say. “I’ve been watching for, like, 17 minutes and I’m the cleverest man since the inventor of cheese. Great guy, by the way. I sold him a condo. But I don’t understand what I did wrong this time, either.”
Ivanka says I’m being accused of trying to shut down an FBI investigation.
“So?” I say. “I won!”
“Remember how we agreed,” says Jared, “that there are some things that even the president can’t do?”
“Sure,” I say, spreading my legs, which makes Ivanka look away for some reason. “Like levitating. And melting rocks with my laser eyes.”
“Yes,” says Ivanka.
“Even with an executive order,” I say.
“Yes,” says Jared.
“For now,” I say.
“Mmmm,” says Ivanka.
Thursday
The Justice Department has appointed a special counsel to investigate links with Russia.
“I bet he’s not that special,” I say. “I bet I’m specialer. I’m the specialist. You ask my gastroenterologist.”
Sean Spicer wants to know if this is what he should say on television.
“Sack him,” says Kellyanne Conway. “He’s a laughing stock. Last week the press saw him hiding in a bush.”
Spicer says he wasn’t hiding in it. He was visiting Steve Bannon. Who sleeps in it.
This is a witch hunt, I say. The witchyest hunt ever. Why would I even want links with Russia? That Putin guy is a total beta cuck.
That’s when the red phone starts ringing.
“Nobody answer that,” I say.
Friday
Four months in the White House and we still don’t know how to work the goddamn lights. This is why I always go to Mar-a-Lago. I’ve got a guy there who does the switches. Good hombre. Big talent.
Anyway, I’m meeting with Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, Sean Spicer and one of my sons. In the dark. Everybody is depressed. Steve says everything is falling apart.
“He’s right, Dad,” says my son.
“Which son are you?” I ask, peering at him.
“I don’t know,” says my son. “Who even cares any more?”
“None of this would have happened,” I say, “if you’d let me have those laser eyes.”
“Maybe I’ll go work for a TV channel,” says Kellyanne.
Monday
They treat me so badly. It’s very unfair. Worse than anybody else has ever been treated by anybody. And now they’re saying I gave information to the Russians. Which is ridiculous.
“You’ve never even met a Russian,” agrees Sean Spicer.
Then Kellyanne Conway says this was in the Oval Office and there are photos. Then Spicer says an alternative fact is that it wasn’t and there aren’t. Then Kellyanne says not to start all that again, please.
“I’m a smart guy,” I say. “The smartest. You ask my gastroenterologist. But I don’t see what I did wrong.”
Steve Bannon says there’s this idea that when somebody gives you intel, you shouldn’t share it.
“I don’t get it,” I say.
“Like eef I shared my money,” says Melania, who is staring distantly out of the window.
“My money,” I say.
“See?” says Steve.
“Oh,” I say.
Tuesday
I think I give Melania too much money. And I also think I need to speak to Putin. In fact, I’m just saying this to myself, out loud, when the red telephone rings and it’s him.
“You must be psychic,” I say.
“Or something,” agrees Putin. “Now. For vot reason you are vonting me phoning of?”
I tell Vlad that people are saying I’ve been speaking to him, so I’m speaking to him to see if he’ll speak to the fact that we never speak.
“Huh?” says Putin.
“I’m very clever,” I say. “Like, the cleverest. I don’t play chess but if I did I’d be great.”
Putin says the best thing is probably for me to give him a list of all the top-secret things I definitely haven’t told him. Just so he can make sure he doesn’t get it wrong when he has to explain what he doesn’t know.
The guy is wrapped around my little finger. Sad!
Wednesday
I’m watching Fox News in my bathrobe when Ivanka and Jared drop by. They’re looking grave.
“I don’t get it,” I say. “I’ve been watching for, like, 17 minutes and I’m the cleverest man since the inventor of cheese. Great guy, by the way. I sold him a condo. But I don’t understand what I did wrong this time, either.”
Ivanka says I’m being accused of trying to shut down an FBI investigation.
“So?” I say. “I won!”
“Remember how we agreed,” says Jared, “that there are some things that even the president can’t do?”
“Sure,” I say, spreading my legs, which makes Ivanka look away for some reason. “Like levitating. And melting rocks with my laser eyes.”
“Yes,” says Ivanka.
“Even with an executive order,” I say.
“Yes,” says Jared.
“For now,” I say.
“Mmmm,” says Ivanka.
Thursday
The Justice Department has appointed a special counsel to investigate links with Russia.
“I bet he’s not that special,” I say. “I bet I’m specialer. I’m the specialist. You ask my gastroenterologist.”
Sean Spicer wants to know if this is what he should say on television.
“Sack him,” says Kellyanne Conway. “He’s a laughing stock. Last week the press saw him hiding in a bush.”
Spicer says he wasn’t hiding in it. He was visiting Steve Bannon. Who sleeps in it.
This is a witch hunt, I say. The witchyest hunt ever. Why would I even want links with Russia? That Putin guy is a total beta cuck.
That’s when the red phone starts ringing.
“Nobody answer that,” I say.
Friday
Four months in the White House and we still don’t know how to work the goddamn lights. This is why I always go to Mar-a-Lago. I’ve got a guy there who does the switches. Good hombre. Big talent.
Anyway, I’m meeting with Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, Sean Spicer and one of my sons. In the dark. Everybody is depressed. Steve says everything is falling apart.
“He’s right, Dad,” says my son.
“Which son are you?” I ask, peering at him.
“I don’t know,” says my son. “Who even cares any more?”
“None of this would have happened,” I say, “if you’d let me have those laser eyes.”
“Maybe I’ll go work for a TV channel,” says Kellyanne.
In fairness that's another reasonable speech by Trump, so he's up to at least two of those in only just over 100 days. The problem with that speech of course is it had little to do with what he was saying which actually got him elected, I don't respect what he said to get elected, but I certainly don't respect he does't respect what he said to get elected. Given his campaign mutterings his speech in Saudi was actually rather gutless.
No doubt. But there is an ongoing problem that one simply can't trust what he says when he'll so readily ignore what he's only just said.
And it's not always going to be headscarfs he forgets his previous commentary on (which isn't to say headscarfs isn't a serious issue, what they represent certainly can be)
Digby wrote:In fairness that's another reasonable speech by Trump, so he's up to at least two of those in only just over 100 days. The problem with that speech of course is it had little to do with what he was saying which actually got him elected, I don't respect what he said to get elected, but I certainly don't respect he does't respect what he said to get elected. Given his campaign mutterings his speech in Saudi was actually rather gutless.
He blamed the rise of terrorism on Iran, whilst speaking to and in Saudi Arabia. By reasonable I assume you mean back to the more common, ludicrous, backward lies usually spread by the US government?
Digby wrote:In fairness that's another reasonable speech by Trump, so he's up to at least two of those in only just over 100 days. The problem with that speech of course is it had little to do with what he was saying which actually got him elected, I don't respect what he said to get elected, but I certainly don't respect he does't respect what he said to get elected. Given his campaign mutterings his speech in Saudi was actually rather gutless.
He blamed the rise of terrorism on Iran, whilst speaking to and in Saudi Arabia. By reasonable I assume you mean back to the more common, ludicrous, backward lies usually spread by the US government?
The bbc had some interesting Iranian political commentators during their election. They seemed a pretty reasonable bunch of guys. They painted a very salient picture of a country that is sick to the back teeth of the pincer movement of Western involvement and Wahhabism. It reminded me of the Hungarian/Bulgarian/Czech ? national anthem where the lyrics talk about 'please stop invading us, we've had enough'.
It's amazing that Trump hasn't hired someone to trawl through his Twitter feed to delete any potentially embarrassing tweets he has made over the years. I realise that won't leave many, but at least he wouldn't look like such a twat every time he does something that he has criticised others for.
Last edited by WaspInWales on Tue May 23, 2017 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
The Saudis and Bibi know how to keep Trump in check. Flatter him with praise and pomp and he'll pretty much do what they want.
Trump has been quite vocal against Saudi Arabia in the not so distant past, but he seems to have a new bff in King Salman. It wasn't that long ago when Trump was critical of money from Saudi Arabia being paid into the Clinton Foundation, but I don't see him complaining about $100m to Ivanka's fund for women. That's right, a donation from a country where women have very little rights and an extremely dubious record in human rights.
Bibi knows that everytime he comments on Trump's great leadership, the tiny handed tyrant gets a boner and will agree to anything. It's hard to see how he can strike a deal with the Palestinians when it's no secret whose side he's really on.
WaspInWales wrote:Trump's Twitter feed is a gift that keeps giving.
It's amazing that Trump hasn't hired someone to trawl through his Twitter feed to delete any potentially embarrassing tweets he has made over the years. I realise that won't leave many, but at least he wouldn't look like such a twat every time he does something that he has criticised others for.
You don't even need to "trawl", just search the person/country/action in question here www.trumptwitterarchive.com
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Dominating the SHMB
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WaspInWales wrote:Trump's Twitter feed is a gift that keeps giving.
It's amazing that Trump hasn't hired someone to trawl through his Twitter feed to delete any potentially embarrassing tweets he has made over the years. I realise that won't leave many, but at least he wouldn't look like such a twat every time he does something that he has criticised others for.
I thought the #RoomForManchester hashtag was created by people offering a place to stay for people caught up in the tragedy.
It sure is nice of Ivanka to offer her pad, but it's a bit of a way to go from Manchester.
Still, at least the thought is there.
I'm sure Lucan will appreciate her commitment to help the less fortunate than herself, afterall, he demanded J. K Rowling give up her spare rooms for immigrants.
I thought the #RoomForManchester hashtag was created by people offering a place to stay for people caught up in the tragedy.
It sure is nice of Ivanka to offer her pad, but it's a bit of a way to go from Manchester.
Still, at least the thought is there.
I'm sure Lucan will appreciate her commitment to help the less fortunate than herself, afterall, he demanded J. K Rowling give up her spare rooms for immigrants.
Ha ha, yes you are right. I think she means #prayformanchester?
I thought the #RoomForManchester hashtag was created by people offering a place to stay for people caught up in the tragedy.
It sure is nice of Ivanka to offer her pad, but it's a bit of a way to go from Manchester.
Still, at least the thought is there.
I'm sure Lucan will appreciate her commitment to help the less fortunate than herself, afterall, he demanded J. K Rowling give up her spare rooms for immigrants.
Ha ha, yes you are right. I think she means #prayformanchester?
Yeah, probably. Can't blame her I suppose. The inability to use Twitter seems to be a genetic defect.
