RugbyRebels

Sometimes, you want delicate, intelligent, erudite humour. And sometimes you end up crying with laughter watching a video of the best bits of commentary on an MMA fight featuring Danny Mainus (pronounced My anus):



Puja

Today I saw a midget climbing down a prison wall and I thought to myself ‘that’s a little condescending’.

Building an Aquarium in Northumberland as a tourist attraction was never going to work.
Locals have described it as a Turtle disaster..

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says:- "Your heart, lungs, Pulse and blood pressure are all fine.
Now let me see the bit that gets you Ladies into all kinds of trouble."

The lady starts taking off her knickers but is interrupted by the doctor…………

"No! No! Don't remove your knickers... Just stick out your tongue!" !

When abroad James Bond is known as +44 07.

Really enjoying the book I got for Xmas this year about
anti-gravity - just can't put it down..

Tough run of fixtures coming up for Enya Rugby Club.

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Puja

Puja wrote: ↑Tue Feb 27, 2024 2:10 am Tough run of fixtures coming up for Enya Rugby Club.

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Puja

excellent

Not a crap joke, but an AI text to speech failure that just made me cry with laughter, so I thought I'd share:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe5NyeMw/

Puja

> A popular stand-up comedian near us also
finds time to run a busy fabrics shop.
I keep meaning to ask her where she gets her new material.

> I booked a table at a local restaurant and arrived on time, only to be told by the manager they were running a bit behind, and would I mind waiting for a while.
I said that was ok, so he told me to take a tray of drinks to table 5.

> I keep trying to remember the French word for 'white', but my mind keeps going blanc..

> A driver left the road and ran into a deep water-hole. When questioned by police, he said it was getting dark and he couldn't see that well.

< tony b >

Watching the girls volleyball at the Olympics and there's already been a nasty wrist injury.

I should be better in a couple days.

There are rumours going around that some popular chocolate bars out there are fake imports from the Far East, though
it could just be Chinese Wispas.

Bumped into a retired Chess Grandmaster ( Russian I think) at the local cafe yesterday, and asked him to pass the salt & pepper - it took him 26 minutes.
<talk s.>

Embra Fringe: Six of the Crappiest..

- I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.
<M.Simmons>

- I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like I'm progressing. It's just one step forward... two steps back. -
<A.Snook>

- Ate horse at a restaurant once - wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful.
<A.Kitson>

- I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it.
<A.Smith>

- I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.
<M.Simmons>

- My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes.
<O.Falafel>

Where do Superheroes live ?
Capetown

What do you get if you cross a Superhero with a fruit ?
Ciderman

What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?
Ian.

I ordered my favourite take-away from the local Chinese and drove round to collect the meal.
On the way home I heard rustling from the bag on the passenger seat and it appeared to start moving !
I decided to open the bag to have a look, horrified there could be a mouse or even a small rat inside, and there looking out at me from behind the prawn crackers were two little eyes.

Carefully, I pulled the bag down and there it was..
a Peeking Duck.

My neighbour got a new Dalmatian from a rescue home last week and paid for a local dog-groomer to give it the once over.
She said they did a wonderful job - it came back spotless.