married life

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Zhivago
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married life

Post by Zhivago »

Ok need some advice here how to maintain social life while married?

Not a random question - in this case I'm the married man having such a dilemma...
Last edited by Zhivago on Fri May 19, 2017 8:43 am, edited 4 times in total.

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bruce
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by bruce »

Zhivago wrote:Ok need some advice here, is it appropriate to go for drinks (or even dinner?) with single female friends/colleagues while married?

Not a random question - in this case I'm the married man having such a dilemma...
Is this a group thing, or just you and the hot secretary? If the latter, although my advice would be yeah no problems you dog, I suspect your missus might have a differing opinion. Basically what it boils down to is how insecure is your missus, and does she have reason to be insecure?
J Dory
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by J Dory »

Are you intending to fuck her?
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by jared_7 »

I don't think its an issue unless you want to bang her - I know my missus would be OK me going for drinks with a work colleague and she goes out for drinks with a male work colleague pretty regularly.

Just ask yourself why you are wanting to go out with her, and if it is completely platonic then there shouldn't be a problem. Mention to your partner you're going as well, to gauge her reaction. Last thing you want is her finding out and having to explain yourself, even if you haven't done anything.
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Zhivago
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by Zhivago »

I'm a good guy of course I will not cheat. We were out for drinks yesterday, today she suggested dinner this evening... I demured and suggested drinks instead (dinner would feel too datey I think) . Not a group thing. Wife is out of town. I'm being pretty open about the situation with my wife.

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belgarion
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by belgarion »

'Zhivago & his secretary sitting in a tree'

Methinks she may have a bit of an interest in you my friend. I'd steer clear
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Mellsblue
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by Mellsblue »

I'm with Belgarion. If you do go, I'd suggest an informal a setting as possible, the less date like the better. If the wife doesn't mind you going, that is. My long suffering wife tried to ban me from 1-2-1 drinks, lunch etc with any lady friends, which of course means that in my younger years I arranged more than strictly necessary. Now I prefer the quieter life I stick to that rule.

If she does come on strong just steer the conversation round to politics. She'll be out the loo window before you've finished the first sentence ;)
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by fivepointer »

These potentially tricky encounters are best negotiated when there is a suitable chaperone at hand. A sturdy elderly aunt should do nicely.
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by J Dory »

Just make sure you put a hat on Mr Ponobnob.
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Len
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by Len »

Go for a curry. No way she will be attracted to you after that
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Stones of granite
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by Stones of granite »

You'll be divorced before your 2nd anniversary.
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Zhivago
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by Zhivago »

Stones of granite wrote:You'll be divorced before your 2nd anniversary.
Nonsense

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OptimisticJock
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by OptimisticJock »

Just get her pumped FFS.
J Dory
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by J Dory »

OK, best option, go out for dinner and drinks. Provide live updates via this thread.
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by OptimisticJock »

We're also missing rule 1
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Zhivago
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by Zhivago »

OptimisticJock wrote:We're also missing rule 1
Pics?

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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by OptimisticJock »

Zhivago wrote:
OptimisticJock wrote:We're also missing rule 1
Pics?
Indeed. We have to determine if she's worth ruining your marriage for.
zer0
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by zer0 »

Two immediate questions spring to mind. First, is she a Swedish blonde? Second, what are your opinions on trains?
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by OptimisticJock »

zer0 wrote:Two immediate questions spring to mind. First, is she a Swedish blonde? Second, what are your opinions on trains?
I think you may have hit the nail on the head there. The deleted post is very ominous.
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Zhivago
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by Zhivago »

OptimisticJock wrote:
zer0 wrote:Two immediate questions spring to mind. First, is she a Swedish blonde? Second, what are your opinions on trains?
I think you may have hit the nail on the head there. The deleted post is very ominous.
I'm just a private person

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Lizard
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by Lizard »

Ask yourself why you are questioning this in the first place.

If can happily tell your missus what you are doing, and who with, and would be fine telling her every detail afterwards (if she asks) then you have nothing to worry about.
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Zhivago
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by Zhivago »

Lizard wrote:Ask yourself why you are questioning this in the first place.

If can happily tell your missus what you are doing, and who with, and would be fine telling her every detail afterwards (if she asks) then you have nothing to worry about.
They know each other btw, which I think helps a bit with the trust that's inevitably needed.

And of course our plans are always above board - nothing more than talking over wine, and the topics kept well away from potential minefields. But you know the danger of alcohol, plans do not always remain, conversation could plausibly shift to an out-of-bounds area... so far not, hopefully not, but that's a danger I guess.

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cashead
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by cashead »

If you can't trust yourself to not be a stupid idiot that ruins his marriage for a drunken fuck, then don't.
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hp18
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by hp18 »

Get it done ffs. It's two work colleagues going for drinks, it's not like she suggested an overnight in Gretna. Ypu/your missus are reading to much into this.




Now as suggested above, we'll need a Rule 1, regular updates through the evening and if you're not balls deep by 12.30 you need to get out of the closet.
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Re: Female friends/colleagues when married

Post by Sandydragon »

belgarion wrote:'Zhivago & his secretary sitting in a tree'

Methinks she may have a bit of an interest in you my friend. I'd steer clear
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