RugbyRebels

Ok need some advice here how to maintain social life while married?

Not a random question - in this case I'm the married man having such a dilemma...

Zhivago wrote:Ok need some advice here, is it appropriate to go for drinks (or even dinner?) with single female friends/colleagues while married?

Not a random question - in this case I'm the married man having such a dilemma...

Is this a group thing, or just you and the hot secretary? If the latter, although my advice would be yeah no problems you dog, I suspect your missus might have a differing opinion. Basically what it boils down to is how insecure is your missus, and does she have reason to be insecure?

Are you intending to fuck her?

I don't think its an issue unless you want to bang her - I know my missus would be OK me going for drinks with a work colleague and she goes out for drinks with a male work colleague pretty regularly.

Just ask yourself why you are wanting to go out with her, and if it is completely platonic then there shouldn't be a problem. Mention to your partner you're going as well, to gauge her reaction. Last thing you want is her finding out and having to explain yourself, even if you haven't done anything.

I'm a good guy of course I will not cheat. We were out for drinks yesterday, today she suggested dinner this evening... I demured and suggested drinks instead (dinner would feel too datey I think) . Not a group thing. Wife is out of town. I'm being pretty open about the situation with my wife.

'Zhivago & his secretary sitting in a tree'

Methinks she may have a bit of an interest in you my friend. I'd steer clear

I'm with Belgarion. If you do go, I'd suggest an informal a setting as possible, the less date like the better. If the wife doesn't mind you going, that is. My long suffering wife tried to ban me from 1-2-1 drinks, lunch etc with any lady friends, which of course means that in my younger years I arranged more than strictly necessary. Now I prefer the quieter life I stick to that rule.

If she does come on strong just steer the conversation round to politics. She'll be out the loo window before you've finished the first sentence

These potentially tricky encounters are best negotiated when there is a suitable chaperone at hand. A sturdy elderly aunt should do nicely.

Just make sure you put a hat on Mr Ponobnob.

Go for a curry. No way she will be attracted to you after that

You'll be divorced before your 2nd anniversary.

Stones of granite wrote:You'll be divorced before your 2nd anniversary.

Nonsense

Just get her pumped FFS.

OK, best option, go out for dinner and drinks. Provide live updates via this thread.

We're also missing rule 1

OptimisticJock wrote:We're also missing rule 1

Pics?

Zhivago wrote:

OptimisticJock wrote:We're also missing rule 1

Pics?

Indeed. We have to determine if she's worth ruining your marriage for.

Two immediate questions spring to mind. First, is she a Swedish blonde? Second, what are your opinions on trains?

zer0 wrote:Two immediate questions spring to mind. First, is she a Swedish blonde? Second, what are your opinions on trains?

I think you may have hit the nail on the head there. The deleted post is very ominous.

OptimisticJock wrote:

zer0 wrote:Two immediate questions spring to mind. First, is she a Swedish blonde? Second, what are your opinions on trains?

I think you may have hit the nail on the head there. The deleted post is very ominous.

I'm just a private person

Ask yourself why you are questioning this in the first place.

If can happily tell your missus what you are doing, and who with, and would be fine telling her every detail afterwards (if she asks) then you have nothing to worry about.

Lizard wrote:Ask yourself why you are questioning this in the first place.

If can happily tell your missus what you are doing, and who with, and would be fine telling her every detail afterwards (if she asks) then you have nothing to worry about.

They know each other btw, which I think helps a bit with the trust that's inevitably needed.

And of course our plans are always above board - nothing more than talking over wine, and the topics kept well away from potential minefields. But you know the danger of alcohol, plans do not always remain, conversation could plausibly shift to an out-of-bounds area... so far not, hopefully not, but that's a danger I guess.

If you can't trust yourself to not be a stupid idiot that ruins his marriage for a drunken fuck, then don't.

Get it done ffs. It's two work colleagues going for drinks, it's not like she suggested an overnight in Gretna. Ypu/your missus are reading to much into this.




Now as suggested above, we'll need a Rule 1, regular updates through the evening and if you're not balls deep by 12.30 you need to get out of the closet.

belgarion wrote:'Zhivago & his secretary sitting in a tree'

Methinks she may have a bit of an interest in you my friend. I'd steer clear

This! Be careful of rumour fella, no matter how well behaved you might be, some wagging tongues can blow everything out of proportion.