How do you do everything?

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:46 pm

In approximately 5 hours and 15 minutes I will come to the end of a 33 year career in the Army. Clearly I am institutionalised and have been cosseted from the realities of life out in the depressing reality of society at large. Any advice on how to behave and how to get stuff done without resort to lethal force will be gratefully accepted. Advice of pitfalls to avoid will be most welcome.

Spare a thought for poor Mrs WG who will fall asleep tonight in the arms of a virile Infantry officer and wake up tomorrow morning with a fecking pensioner!

kk67 · Post by **kk67** » Fri Nov 10, 2017 7:15 pm

Early retirement is sweet. Sit around and drink for a year...then decide. The entire 'work-ethic' balls is for victims.
The Establishment want work for nothing.
Strongly recommend you watch Jeremy Kyle for 6 months and realize what the elitist wankers expect from you.......and then tell them to fuck off and become self-employed.

Post by **morepork** » Fri Nov 10, 2017 7:59 pm

Things have changed Sarge. Women are allowed in public houses, homosexuality is no longer illegal, and beating off on public transport is now frowned upon. It's PC gone mad.

kk67 · Post by **kk67** » Fri Nov 10, 2017 8:43 pm

Don't tell him the Alien invaders are teetotal.

Post by **OptimisticJock** » Sat Nov 11, 2017 9:24 am

Civvy St would be great if it weren't for all the civvies.

Congrats mate.

Mikey Brown · Post by **Mikey Brown** » Sat Nov 11, 2017 10:27 am

Have you considered going fully mental?

WaspInWales · Post by **WaspInWales** » Sat Nov 11, 2017 5:10 pm

Join the T.A.

Post by **OptimisticJock** » Sat Nov 11, 2017 7:14 pm

Don't. They think their 2 week Bravo and exercise stories are comparable to your depot and tour stories. I hate them but I'm a whore and like the money and courses.

Donny osmond · Post by **Donny osmond** » Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:05 pm

Take up a hobby, like reading. Get a few books lined up that you've been planning to read for a while but just not had the time. I reckon someone reading a sensible amount per week could get thru 5 or 6 decent books per year.

Dont you live in Scotland? Theres always drinking to forget.

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bruce · Post by **bruce** » Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:09 pm

Donny osmond wrote:Take up a hobby, like reading. Get a few books lined up that you've been planning to read for a while but just not had the time. I reckon someone reading a sensible amount per week could get thru 5 or 6 decent books per year.

Dont you live in Scotland? Theres always drinking to forget.

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Yeah Sarge that way you may be able to contribute more to the Good Read thread.

Mellsblue · Post by **Mellsblue** » Sat Nov 11, 2017 9:02 pm

Do an MBA.

Donny osmond · Post by **Donny osmond** » Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:34 am

YEYYY IT'S HERE THEN FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WOOOP WOOOP

Congrats big guy. I've never actually retired, but how hard can it be? Get up, get out of bed, drag a comb across your head.... check out the latest wisdom on RR, eat some bacon, read a bit, go into town, come home, eat a bit more bacon. LIFE!

Stay handsome fella

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Stones of granite · Post by **Stones of granite** » Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:05 am

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:In approximately 5 hours and 15 minutes I will come to the end of a 33 year career in the Army. Clearly I am institutionalised and have been cosseted from the realities of life out in the depressing reality of society at large. Any advice on how to behave and how to get stuff done without resort to lethal force will be gratefully accepted. Advice of pitfalls to avoid will be most welcome.

Spare a thought for poor Mrs WG who will fall asleep tonight in the arms of a virile Infantry officer and wake up tomorrow morning with a fecking pensioner!

how to behave: keep wearing your blazer with regimental badge, regimental tie, beret (correctly shaped) and full medal rack, and any behaviour will be met with a knowing nod
how to get stuff done without resort to lethal force: same as before, let the wife do it.

Post by **Sandydragon** » Sun Nov 12, 2017 4:36 pm

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:In approximately 5 hours and 15 minutes I will come to the end of a 33 year career in the Army. Clearly I am institutionalised and have been cosseted from the realities of life out in the depressing reality of society at large. Any advice on how to behave and how to get stuff done without resort to lethal force will be gratefully accepted. Advice of pitfalls to avoid will be most welcome.

Spare a thought for poor Mrs WG who will fall asleep tonight in the arms of a virile Infantry officer and wake up tomorrow morning with a fecking pensioner!

Leave th rank in the mess, no one gives a shit outside.

Big bug bears for me were medical and dental. Get used to paying for stuff now and try to find somewhere decent near by.

Banquo · Post by **Banquo** » Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:49 pm

Mellsblue wrote:Do an MBA.

SaMBA or RuMBA?

Post by **morepork** » Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:46 pm

Where is he? Still on screaming bender?

Donny osmond · Post by **Donny osmond** » Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:39 pm

morepork wrote:Where is he? Still on screaming bender?

Thats no way to talk about his wife!

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Stones of granite · Post by **Stones of granite** » Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:59 pm

I reckon he got a hangover that would kill a civvy....

then he realised he's a civvy

Spiffy · Post by **Spiffy** » Wed Nov 15, 2017 2:20 am

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:In approximately 5 hours and 15 minutes I will come to the end of a 33 year career in the Army. Clearly I am institutionalised and have been cosseted from the realities of life out in the depressing reality of society at large. Any advice on how to behave and how to get stuff done without resort to lethal force will be gratefully accepted. Advice of pitfalls to avoid will be most welcome.

Spare a thought for poor Mrs WG who will fall asleep tonight in the arms of a virile Infantry officer and wake up tomorrow morning with a fecking pensioner!

You can start by learning how to polish yer own shoes.
Or you you could enlist in the RAF as a simple aircraftman.
You will miss the free port.

SerjeantWildgoose · Post by **SerjeantWildgoose** » Wed Nov 15, 2017 7:49 am

All of this is valid stuff but having become retired I now find that there are barely enough hours in the day to fit in the trip down to the chemist to get elasticated stockings, reading the Daily Mail from cover to cover and writing to the local council about the number of young people hanging around the school gates with their shirt tails hanging out! Its a feck of a lot to cram in before Tipping Point.

Stones of granite · Post by **Stones of granite** » Wed Nov 15, 2017 8:30 am

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:All of this is valid stuff but having become retired I now find that there are barely enough hours in the day to fit in the trip down to the chemist to get elasticated stockings, reading the Daily Mail from cover to cover and writing to the local council about the number of young people hanging around the school gates with their shirt tails hanging out! Its a feck of a lot to cram in before Tipping Point.

Sounds like you need a faster mobility scooter.

kk67 · Post by **kk67** » Wed Nov 15, 2017 8:47 pm

You need a team sport. Something that makes you engage.
I was going to take up Fencing after rugby but being a ref was cheaper and it meant people were relying on me to turn up. Which meant I turned up.

J Dory · Post by **J Dory** » Wed Nov 15, 2017 9:00 pm

Golf, start with lessons, then buy the plus fours and wingtips.

kk67 · Post by **kk67** » Wed Nov 15, 2017 9:19 pm

J Dory wrote:Golf, start with lessons, then buy the plus fours and wingtips.

Buggaluggs · Post by **Buggaluggs** » Wed Nov 15, 2017 10:19 pm

You should wank a lot while your dick still works.

RugbyRebels

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