New Zealand vs England - Second Test minute-by-minute

[Puja]

Sorry for the delay in this one folks - been ill with a stinking cold and it's put the delay on me even getting started with this. I'm away this weekend, which will slow it further, but will make progress tomorrow and Monday to try and get the majority of it out as quickly as possible.


Initial impressions:
Our defence was significantly ropier this week and we were very lucky not to concede on several occasions.
We avoided playing rugby more than we should have and the KADAB counter is coming back
Despite that, NZ didn't have much of an answer for us and were lucky to survive until Q4, at which point Barrett took the game away from us.
Steward had an absolute stinker of a game, as did Slade


Let's see how many of those hold up.


Minute 1: England kick off to compete and Itoje does get a hand in, but NZ manage to just about bring it in. They run one phase to midfield and then kick the ball high to demonstrate that they have learned nothing from last week - it's long and down Feyi-Waboso's neck on the halfway line, begging for him to counter-attack. The kick chase from NZ is good, at least, and he does have his foot slip from under him as he looks to change direction, but he recovers and makes ground through a double-tackle from two forwards, like the absolute freak of nature that he is.

We carry up through Finn Baxter, who NZ tackle by attempting to unscrew his head, but the ref gives nothing for that. Stuart does a good clearing job to make quick ball and we use the backs - MSmith dummying to Earl and CCS on the short before pulling back to Slade. NZ are very narrow and very slow up - Telea is the widest man and is inside the 15m line, whereas we've got Freeman screaming for it on the outside, calling for the chip. Slade can either put a cross-field dink over into acres of space, or he can fire a wide flat pass, of exactly the kind he did early against France, and Freeman is through and looking to test his 1-on-1 against Perofeta, but instead his pass is loopy and forces Freeman to stop and wait for it - he still makes a half-break, but the time the ball spends in the air allows Telea to shut him down.

Still good ball and Earl runs onto the next phase, popping it inside to CCS, but unfortunately New Zealand are waiting for New Lawes and unfortunately he has the same flaw that the original model used to have of running far too upright. This result in the ignominy of a scrum-half tackling around the waist, folding him in half, picking him up and driving him three metres backwards, before dumping him on his arse. Awkward.

NZ complete the trick by having half their forward pack pile through the breakdown and it's a well-won turnover. Not an auspicious start. Tuipulotu carries at Smith, who does well to bring him down, and then NZ are attacking with quick ball against a disrupted defence. Underhill does a great job to come charging up and stop McKenzie putting it through the hands, but he puts his boot through the ball with a low, scudding kick into our 22. Lucky he doesn't go for the chip kick tbh - we had no-one covering and there was loads of space for Reece to run into.

Minute 2: The bounce of a rugby ball doesn't hate us for once, as it pops up quite nicely for Steward to save it from going into touch. He lines himself up for the kick, before deciding against it and... for some reason thinking he can beat Sevu Reece one-on-one from a standing start?

Mate.

Mate.

Maaaate.

Bestie, no. You have many virtues. Lightning quick feet and the ability to beat someone in a phone box are not among them. He attempts to jink inside, but his hand-off misses and he's just hauled down with the greatest of ease. New Zealand have the whip hand at the ruck because they're the ones running onto it, and Feyi-Waboso gets utterly obliterated by four All-Blacks arriving at speed and the ball is exposed and the line is begging... except that there are only four All Blacks in frame and every single one of them joined the ruck and not a single one thought to be greedy and hang back to pick up the ball and score the easiest of tries. As such, they were so effective that they've blasted right past the ball, and Underhill is first there, making sure to ostentatiously show he's got back onside, come through the gate and then can pick up the ball and run upfield. Suddenly NZ are the ones in disarray - Underhill draws the only defender and passes for Earl to run onto it and we're away.

Earl is faced with McKenzie coming across, but he's got Lawrence inside and this is begging for a draw and give, but instead he puts boot to ball with a grubber. I don't think it's a try-scoring opportunity, but there's another 10-20m to be gained ball in hand, at least. I was going to put him on the KADAB counter for that, but it is a ridiculously good quality kick that rolls a full 40 metres down the 5m channel, so I'll give him that one.

JBarrett picks up on the edge of his 22 and passes inside and suddenly it's NZ playing 7s rugby against a dishevelled defence. Thankfully Telea doesn't fancy going to the wide open spaces (our defensive line has set up remarkably well) and cuts inside where he's hauled down by Underhill, who has just run from blitzing hard on halfway, to rescuing the ball 5m from our line and breaking away, to being the first chaser 65m up the pitch. That is an engine, folks.

It looks for all the money like Itoje has won a jackal at the ruck, but the referee is against it for some reason and it's given as a Kiwi penalty, at which we can all, your humble recapper included, calm the fuck down. NZ kick to touch, just inside England's half.

Minute 3: NZ throw their first lineout as a trick play to the front man on the ground and look to set a maul. They make a little bit of ground, but Stuart is a pain in the neck and so Christie gets the ball away. NZ are very deliberately trying to outmanoeuvre the rush defence by passing deep - the first pass is 10 metres backwards - but England are doubling down by going super narrow - our entire 3/4 line is less than 10m apart and Feyi-Waboso is around 40 metres away from his wing. It is ridiculous and surely a factor in JBarrett getting tangled up and throwing a pass to the ground in front of Perofeta, who then has to chase back under pressure from IFW. This attack has cost NZ nearly 30 metres across two passes and it's compounded as Perofeta tries to round Feyi-Waboso and loses the ball forward in the tackle.

Minute 4: De Groot gets Stuart in a poor position from the hit, and then drives through as the ball comes in, wrecking George's strike. We start going backwards, but Earl does an incredible job to somehow rescue the ball from the middle of the scrum and break away.

Minute 5: Scrappy ball and we recycle through a couple of forward carries. They don't regather any momentum though and so MSmith falls back into the pocket for an attempted 48m drop-goal. It is comedically shanked and ends up bouncing on the NZ 5m line, about 20m from touch. Perofeta gathers it and then tries what Steward did earlier, only better and on Henry Slade. Good old Henners fails to complete the tackle, sliding off despite being able to get a good shoulder in on him, and NZ break away, getting to just outside their 22 across a few phases, before we're able to slow them down. Christie takes his time and hoists a box-kick to compete - Steward comes rushing in from deep, launches himself majestically through the air... and knocks it on. Shit.

NZ regather and McKenzie goes for a chip-and-chase...

[Puja]

Minute 6: ...our defence is not sorted after the turnover and it's George stepping in to be sweeper. He's not there in time to catch it on the full and the bounce of a rugby ball always hates you, so it bounces away from him - he flaps a hand at it, but only does enough to slow its trajectory so that it falls nicely into McKenzie's hands again. He draws Steward and offloads to JBarrett coming at pace, who is through on a clean break. He draws MSmith at full-back and offloads to Taylor who has a clear run to the line, but Freeman is pelting back and drags him down, just inside the 22. He attempts an offload to Reece, but it bobbles along the floor and Feyi-Waboso missiles into the domestic abuser as he tries to pick it up, forcing the knock on.

I'd say that was our second life there - we could've conceded two tries already, both of them from Steward mistakes. I've got a *lot* of time for the lad in general, and I appreciate he's very rusty having not played a minute since May, but he's having an absolute mare here and he's lucky NZ haven't taken advantage.

Minute 7: Stuart does a much better job from this scrum - he forces De Groot's head lower and then drops him when he tries any shenanigans (helped by the ref being on his side so De Groot can't go around the outside), and Earl plays away from the back of the scrum, popping off for Lawrence to carry it up. Unfortunately Martin misjudges his run and can't run onto Mitchell's pass, but he's still good enough to make ground through contact from a standing start and get us up to the 22.

We set up a long and obvious caterpillar, but it's a dummy as Mitchell passes out to Smith. It goes down the backline, but NZ unfortunately haven't got suckered completely and are lined up, so Steward belts it downfield. Doesn't find touch though, so Perofeta can bring it back.

Minute 8: He kicks it long and, for a minute, it looks like the ball might bounce dead, but it's just not got enough on it so Smith has to play it. He feigns to kick and then steps inside the charging first Kiwi defender to buy himself another 10m of running space before kicking and finding touch about 42m out.

NZ throw the lineout to the front and attempt to bring it down and pop off to the 9, but Will Stuart is there with an interfering hand to mess up the passer's arm, forcing a knock-on. Good work!

Minute 9: De Groot absolutely drives before the ball is in, but the ref doesn't call it and Stuart gives up a (fair) penalty for dropping to his knees.

Minute 10: NZ kick to touch - it's not a great one, but it is within the 22. There's a lot of faffing about by the referee over gaps and manoeuvring, then NZ throw straight to the middle and get it poached by Itoje... however our "scrum-half" has joined the lineout instead of staying out and we give away a free-kick. I don't always have a lot good to say about Berry, but that was a good pick.

New laws mean there's no option of a scrum, so NZ set for a tap and go that we won't see this minute.

[Puja]

Minute 11: NZ tap and pass for a forward runner - it looks like meat and drink for the English defence, but Ardie Savea does an incredible job to bounce Underhill and brush off Earl, swivelling out of a double-tackle, driving into another contact and then out of contact, finally being brought down about 15m after the initial contact point.

NZ try again through three further phases, but get pushed back each time. They get to the edge, where Ioane falls through a tackle and tempts Itoje as the last man to step in and try to contest the breakdown, leaving the right guard position down the tiny blindside unmarked. IFW is slow to read the situation, Telea is quick to read it and there's just enough room for him to squeeze in at the corner. Really annoying try to concede.

Minute 12: Replays and replays. Flatman saying "The damage was done by Savea", which is true to a certain extent, but we had recovered and were pushing them back - we had everything under control, only to just get ourselves misaligned and leave a 3m blindside entirely undefended.

Minute 13: That's a belting kick from McKenzie to make it 7-0. Curled in from the very edge of the touchline.

England kick off into the 22 and Freeman makes his way through the shield wall of Kiwis to get to the catcher and tackle him as he lands. NZ choose to pass back to McKenzie to kick away, but it's a poor kick and only barely gets outside the 22.

Minute 14: England run a lovely short lineout move. The lifting pod runs to the back of the line and NZ follow them - ordinarily this would be a test of speed and accuracy and England would have to be absolutely on the money as their only advantage would be being a split second ahead of the defending jumper, however, England have Mitchell come screaming in from scrum-half, acting like he's going to take the free short ball at the front. De Groot panics and abandons his lifting pod to run back and cover the front, only for England to continue back over the 15m and jump uncontested to take beautiful back ball.

We go into midfield and MSmith sends Cunningham-South on a hard charge into the defence, where he is summarily stopped dead at the tackle line by Papali'i who chops his legs out from under him. Still carrying too tall in that kind of contact and obviously a marked man by NZ. Mitchell continues to go wide anyway and Steward makes a lovely entry into the line, selling Reece with a dummy before surging into a gap and passing on for Freeman to crash into a man and make ground.

We carry one phase back inside with Baxter making the gainline and presenting quick ball, and then the ball comes back to Smith. It's clearly something that's been spotted earlier - New Zealand have been getting very narrow and are charging up to try and stop our forward runners instead of spreading out across the pitch as is their usual wont. It's worked well in stopping our usual momentum, but it's left them undermanned out wide and Smith puts in an absolute peach of a cross-field kick that sails neatly into the gap just outside Telea and McKenzie. Feyi-Waboso catches it on the full with only a little jump and, as soon as he lands, puts in an ankle-breaker of a step. Telea and McKenzie go flying past, completely unable to adapt to the change of direction and Manny is in under the posts completely untouched.

Minute 15: Replays show just how good the kick was - there was room out there to aim into, but Smith lands it absolutely perfectly to give Feyi-Waboso every choice about how he wanted to score that try. Smith then pops over the easy conversion and it's 7-7.

[FKAS]

The kick by Marcus is a peach but it was a pre planned multi phase move from the lineout. Nearly all the backs have to sprint across the mark the break on the outside. Normally you hope the blindside winger from the lineout comes across as well but it didn't matter with the quality of kick from Smith. The little carry from Baxter after going across the pitch helps bunch up the NZ defence and stop it reorganising. Quality work from Wigglesworth executed very well.

Minute 2 with Steward. Initially I was pleased he dummies the kick, iirc Smith was in the middle of the pitch in space. The dummied kick would have given Steward the time to take a couple of steps in field and launch the big pass to Marcus for a counter attack. Exactly the sort of play you'd want from him, then my smile faded as the Muppet tried to go himself...

[Scrumhead]

I think that was a classic case of trying to hard to impress. Steward was probably thinking ‘what would Furbank do?’ and trying (and failing) to do his own version. Foolish but kind of understandable.

The second one where he knocked on the high ball was a lot less forgiveable. It’s supposedly his USP and he muffed it right up.

I think he possibly went in to the game with the wrong mindset thinking ‘I need to play like Furbank’ when actually he just needed to be himself but show he could adapt to a different game plan with less kicking.

[FKAS]

I think that was a classic case of trying to hard to impress.

Yeah, combination of being rusty, trying desperately to impress and maybe second guessing himself to much. It's generally not a performance he'll have wanted to put out. From memory he starts badly but does manage to improve enough to be average.

[Puja]

I think that was a classic case of trying to hard to impress. Steward was probably thinking ‘what would Furbank do?’ and trying (and failing) to do his own version. Foolish but kind of understandable.

Agreed. You can almost see it in his eyes - he's got the instinctive decision to kick and sets himself for that (and it *is* the right decision, I checked back and his support won't be back in time to take a pass, so he's totally isolated), but he second-guesses himself and thinks, "The Wing-Commander wouldn't kick away counter-attacking ball" and forces a deliberate, unnatural decision. Ironic, because Furbank did actually kick away good counter-attacking ball (very badly) in a similar situation the week before. I think the De Groot episode that comes later is him overcompensating and still defining himself by Furbank, trying to show his point of difference by using his physical stature to attempt to bounce a prop forward.

Frankly, I'm just relieved that neither of his mistakes did lead to tries. Despite the fact that he's got 31 caps, he's still very young and has had to deal with some ridiculous highs and lows in his career, not least of which has been going from "England undroppable, probably the first name on the team-sheet" to "not even in the discussion for the XXIII" across the space of just a couple of weeks in the 6N, while also having absolutely no stability at club level whatsoever. He's got more than enough pressure on his head right now that he doesn't need "gave away a vital try by fucking up" added on top of that.

Puja

[FKAS]

I think that was a classic case of trying to hard to impress. Steward was probably thinking ‘what would Furbank do?’ and trying (and failing) to do his own version. Foolish but kind of understandable.

Agreed. You can almost see it in his eyes - he's got the instinctive decision to kick and sets himself for that (and it *is* the right decision, I checked back and his support won't be back in time to take a pass, so he's totally isolated), but he second-guesses himself and thinks, "The Wing-Commander wouldn't kick away counter-attacking ball" and forces a deliberate, unnatural decision. Ironic, because Furbank did actually kick away good counter-attacking ball (very badly) in a similar situation the week before. I think the De Groot episode that comes later is him overcompensating and still defining himself by Furbank, trying to show his point of difference by using his physical stature to attempt to bounce a prop forward.

Frankly, I'm just relieved that neither of his mistakes did lead to tries. Despite the fact that he's got 31 caps, he's still very young and has had to deal with some ridiculous highs and lows in his career, not least of which has been going from "England undroppable, probably the first name on the team-sheet" to "not even in the discussion for the XXIII" across the space of just a couple of weeks in the 6N, while also having absolutely no stability at club level whatsoever. He's got more than enough pressure on his head right now that he doesn't need "gave away a vital try by fucking up" added on top of that.

Puja

Ta, I'm either remembering a different occasion or my memory is shot.

Hopefully a better set up at club level hopes him get back to form. These errors aside there's a good player in there that needs some guidance and development. I'm hoping Hewatt coming in as attack coach will help that as he was a good all round FB for LI that knew how to play to his strengths.

[Banquo]

I think that was a classic case of trying to hard to impress. Steward was probably thinking ‘what would Furbank do?’ and trying (and failing) to do his own version. Foolish but kind of understandable.

The second one where he knocked on the high ball was a lot less forgiveable. It’s supposedly his USP and he muffed it right up.

I think he possibly went in to the game with the wrong mindset thinking ‘I need to play like Furbank’ when actually he just needed to be himself but show he could adapt to a different game plan with less kicking.

this. But it was poor play nonetheless.

[Scrumhead]

I think that was a classic case of trying to hard to impress. Steward was probably thinking ‘what would Furbank do?’ and trying (and failing) to do his own version. Foolish but kind of understandable.

Agreed. You can almost see it in his eyes - he's got the instinctive decision to kick and sets himself for that (and it *is* the right decision, I checked back and his support won't be back in time to take a pass, so he's totally isolated), but he second-guesses himself and thinks, "The Wing-Commander wouldn't kick away counter-attacking ball" and forces a deliberate, unnatural decision. Ironic, because Furbank did actually kick away good counter-attacking ball (very badly) in a similar situation the week before. I think the De Groot episode that comes later is him overcompensating and still defining himself by Furbank, trying to show his point of difference by using his physical stature to attempt to bounce a prop forward.

Frankly, I'm just relieved that neither of his mistakes did lead to tries. Despite the fact that he's got 31 caps, he's still very young and has had to deal with some ridiculous highs and lows in his career, not least of which has been going from "England undroppable, probably the first name on the team-sheet" to "not even in the discussion for the XXIII" across the space of just a couple of weeks in the 6N, while also having absolutely no stability at club level whatsoever. He's got more than enough pressure on his head right now that he doesn't need "gave away a vital try by fucking up" added on top of that.

Puja

Ta, I'm either remembering a different occasion or my memory is shot.

Hopefully a better set up at club level hopes him get back to form. These errors aside there's a good player in there that needs some guidance and development. I'm hoping Hewatt coming in as attack coach will help that as he was a good all round FB for LI that knew how to play to his strengths.

100%. It’s easy to forget how young he is too. As @Puja said, the errors were less than ideal and will have helped to cement Furbank’s status as first choice, but neither were actually that harmful.

[Puja]

My apologies to the board - there has been a metric butt-tonne of things dropped in my lap by work and personal life since this game and I have not had the time to be able to set aside an hour to sit down and transcribe 10-15 minutes of gametime. I finally got a chance to do it today... and discovered that my Sky subscription that I set up for the month to watch the matches has now expired and I don't have access to the recording anymore.

Don't suppose anyone knows where I can find an online copy of the game, do they?

Puja

[Timbo]

Try that. Probably be gone fairly soon, mind.

[Mikey Brown]

FFS. I was hoping to upload of video of Finn Russell tearing England to pieces with Rick Astley over the top but I was too slow.

[Which Tyler]

My apologies to the board - there has been a metric butt-tonne of things dropped in my lap by work and personal life since this game and I have not had the time

Hope you're doing okay dude

[Danno]

My apologies to the board - there has been a metric butt-tonne of things dropped in my lap by work and personal life since this game and I have not had the time

Hope you're doing okay dude

Likewise

[Danno]

Any use? Probably need to grab the direct links as the board auto-embeds it. PM me if you can't get it from a quote post

(first half)

(second half)

[Puja]

Thank you all - I have acquired a downloaded copy from those links, so I can do it with impunity. Thank you for the well-wishes as well - nothing is wrong especially, but I've just had a tonne of other things which have eaten all my spoons. I plan to get it all done by the end of the month, when hopefully we'll all still vaguely remember that a game even happened.

Puja

[Scrumhead]

Possibly a touch harsh but the Pumas beating NZ today probably underlines how much of a missed opportunity the tour was. In hindsight, I can’t help but feel we should have come away with at least one win.

[morepork]

Possibly a touch harsh but the Pumas beating NZ today probably underlines how much of a missed opportunity the tour was. In hindsight, I can’t help but feel we should have come away with at least one win.

Argentina can counter attack far better than England can. We played loose at the wrong times and Los Pumas pounced.

[Puja]

Possibly a touch harsh but the Pumas beating NZ today probably underlines how much of a missed opportunity the tour was. In hindsight, I can’t help but feel we should have come away with at least one win.

Tbf, we'd've won both tests if NZ had been without SBarrett and Tuipulotu versus us.

Puja

[FKAS]

Possibly a touch harsh but the Pumas beating NZ today probably underlines how much of a missed opportunity the tour was. In hindsight, I can’t help but feel we should have come away with at least one win.

Tbf, we'd've won both tests if NZ had been without SBarrett and Tuipulotu versus us.

Puja

*Like*

[Puja]

Minute 16: NZ kick off short and England are rushing to get the pod up. Martin gets there, but he's under pressure and isn't fully up in the air, resulting in a fumble. Thankfully it bobbles into touch for no more damage than an AB lineout. There's a lot of faffing about setting up the line and NZ attempt to catch England on the hop with a quick ball to the front - Itoje reads it like a book though and taps it down to Mitchell, who does a belting job to get the ball away. An unexpected tap to a 9 standing in the 5m channel, with NZ pouring through, and he gets the ball in and out to Earl who is standing just past the 15. Great work.

Earl makes the most of it with a strong carry through the disrupted defensive line and England attack with quick ball. NZ are up fast and Lawrence decides to go himself rather than risk a 50:50 pass, putting in a nice step to keep going forwards.

Minute 17: Stuart carries the next phase off 9 and makes decent ground, but England are still within their half and without appreciable momentum, so we set up for the caterpillar and box. It's another good kick, but IFW has a wall of blockers to go through and Perofeta does very well to just claim the ball first. Slow ball though (Earl doing a good job) and NZ run through a couple of forward plays to try and get a spark - excellent chops by Baxter and CCS cut any hint of that off, so it's NZ's turn to box.

Christie is under massive pressure from Itoje and his kick is too long - Steward gathers with ease, goes around the first chaser and has a little run up to halfway. Quick ball again and Baxter makes a nice carry for another couple of metres and more decent ball.

Minute 18: Smith sits back in the pocket and kicks over the top - I was going to give this one a KADAB, but on reflection it's a solid kick that bounces once into touch about 25m out and, given NZ's lineout woes, was probably a decent call.

England compete hard at the lineout, but NZ pull off a good drill to throw it over Itoje to hit Finau at the back. Itoje, undeterred, hits the deck and is immediately in to interfere with the offload and cause the ball to hit the deck rather than the 9's hands. Christie shovels it back to McKenzie, who just belts it long under pressure. Steward takes and has acres to run into - he arcs to the left and sets up a 3-on-3 with him, IFW and Freeman, but NZ defend well, not biting in and so he takes it into contact to set up decent attacking ball.

Baxter carries up next phase, but is met with a hell of a tackle from Tuipulotu which stops him dead. He does well to get his knees on the ground and force release, but it's slow ball...

Minute 19: ...and, as such, it's kicked. Kicked away, in this case - we go back to MSmith rather than the box, and his cross-field kick is neither nothing nor something. Too long to compete, not close enough to touch to've been seriously looking for territory, not deep enough to find grass or put NZ back on their heels - it's a nothing kick that lands straight down McKenzie's throat with acres of space for him to attack the gaps between the two chasers. Poor mistake.

To make it worse, the two chasers are Itoje and Earl, rather than any backs. Itoje is busting a gut to even get there and McKenzie can easily round him. Earl steps in to make the tackle, but then misses the "making the tackle" part of that job - his eyes follow the outrageous dummy and he's already looking to move off, allowing McKenzie to step in and bounce him! Terrible play from a top forward, especially since, if McKenzie made the pass, he didn't stand a hope in hell of catching Telea anyway, so he may as well do one job well, rather than fail at both.

McKenzie tries to accelerate away from Earl's 'tackle' but loses his footing and so passes to Telea who has space down the wing. Slade and Smith have come across, but don't communicate - they both go to cover Telea, leaving the inside ball back inside for Perofeta unmarked and, even worse, both of them then turn back inside in a doomed attempt to reach Perofeta, rather than continuing on to take out Telea and stop him from being further involved.

Thankfully, our hero and saviour comes flying across. Freddie Steward, who I have had some harsh words for in the past about defending clean breaks, plays an absolute blinder - he comes across and threatens Perofeta, drawing what should have been a try-scoring pass out of him across to Telea, and then accelerates onto the AB winger, picking the perfect line to cut him off at the corner. Telea realises he's not going to make it and pops the ball back inside (Steward shows good technique by following through and burying him into touch, as Slade should've done earlier), but MSmith is there to redeem himself for the godawful kick by taking the intercept - he has to take it back over his own line, but we will take the hell out of that as a result.

When I watched that live, I thought it was a try absolutely butchered by NZ (and, tbh, an early pass inside by Perofeta to Christie probably would've left Steward with no options) and that we were lucky they'd thrown 7 points away, but a lot of slow-motion replays tell me that was a try saved by Steward - somehow made a 2-on-1 unscorable for NZ. Smith, Earl, and Slade all owe him a beer there.

George goes down for a tactical injury to lower everyone's heartrate and the scrum goes into the next minute.

Minute 20: England lower NZ to the floor and Berry gives a NZ penalty advantage - looks very harsh indeed, but there's no closeup to be sure. Mitchell tags Christie's arm as he tries to get it away and the ball hits the deck. McKenzie sweeps up, but is scragged back to the edge of the 22. NZ have a couple of individual goes at breaking the defensive line to no avail, before going to a speculative cross-field kick - I think Steward has Reece covered, but the ball bounces into touch anyway, so it's back for the penalty.

[Puja]

Minute 21: The ref gives George a ticking off, as it's apparently penalties plural - scrum, then offside from the scrum from MSmith, then an offside in midfield from general play. SBarrett has half a thought of going for the one 5m out, but decides building the score is more important and opts for the one in front of the posts. Probably a good call.

Minute 22: McKenzie does the business and it's 10-7. England will be quite relieved to've only conceded 3 points from that little debacle.

England pull a trick from the kick-off, going before anyone (including the director) was ready, and kick it long and low for a touch-finder inside the All Blacks 22. Fun and alert play from us, catching NZ napping.

Speaking of catching NZ napping, Itoje plays a blinder at the lineout. NZ call for a 4-man and bunch at the front - Itoje is there, crouched over his front lifter, poised to spring to try and beat Tuipulotu into the air, screaming at the top of his lungs for NZ to get it in. However, when NZ jump, Itoje ignores it entirely, instead turning to be perfectly poised to grab Tuipulotu as soon as he lands. One hand round his waist, the other grabbing his forearm to prevent ball transfer, and Itoje throws both of them bodily backwards in a sort of judo throw to England's side. It is a beautiful, beautiful piece of tactical fuckery and is rewarded with a knock-on and turnover. Just reinforces how good and how clever a player Maro is - the easy move would've been to jump and potentially mess up the NZ ball, but the smart move was to rely on their anxiety from him having won the ball last time and make them rush and also avoid the mid-air tap-down, so he could then take them apart on landing.

Slow-motion replay confirms how good Maro's timing was - his arms were in position and ready to go while Tuipulotu was in the air, but not a brush of contact was made until he hit the deck. Quality work.

Minute 23: "Why do these m-b-m's take me so long?" I wonder, after spending 15 minutes describing about 5 seconds of action about one bit of lineout fuckery. Nevermind, both sides save me from myself with a failure to scrummage for nearly two minutes. Mixture of Berry being a pedant and Stuart/de Groot fucking about.

Minute 24: Finally a scrum occurs, but the strike is too good and Earl miscontrols the ball at the back, slowing the ball. We adapt and send a flat ball for Lawrence to go crashing up. However, he makes a) no ground and b) loses the ball in contact. He's not a 12 guys, or at least not the 12 we want him to be. Might be Manu's build, but he's never going to be Manu.

Minute 25: Replays, which I assume are covering the complete failure of Nic Berry to ensure a scrum is formed in a timely fashion.

[Puja]

Minute 26: NZ attempt to win a penalty by driving through England, but Stuart does a very good job under pressure - he's going backwards, but slowly and legally, which means the ref just calls for the ball to be played away. NZ don't appear to have a plan B - they play to the blindside for some reason (against the wheel of the scrum), leaving Perofeta to kick without an angle. He slices it anyway, and England have a lineout just inside the 22.

Unfortunately, we cock up the lineout. It's a complicated move relying on Earl coming in from scrum-half to lift, and he slips as he accelerates to join the line, leaving Maro with a late-arriving front lifter. The throw isn't great anyway, but it leaves Maro with no chance to rescue and it's NZ ball, which... I wrote that before watching ahead - Maro somehow wrests the ball away from SBarrett mid-air and gets it back to our side. How in the name of fuck did he manage that?!?

Slow ball and Earl picks and goes from the stationary maul-ruck thing, only to slip over again for the second time in 10 seconds. Thankfully our support players are in quick and we recover the ball, if not Earl's dignity.

Minute 27: We send Lawrence up into traffic again, also this time he doesn't carry hard and instead attempts to dance his way out of trouble. It's not hugely effective, but does just about reach the gainline and doesn't lose the ball, so I'm calling it a win. Next phase, Stuart runs onto the ball at pace which gets us 3-4 metres, but our next two forward carries are static from Itoje and Earl and don't get much - a harsher ref would've penalised NZ for no rolling away, mind, but it's slower ball.

Smith sweeps late from right to left and Mitchell has to do a full turn to find him, only for Smith to realise that there is nothing on over on the left and step back inside to try going right again. Smith puts in a huge mis-pass to Steward who has a one-on-one down the right wing, but he attempts a sharp step inside and his studs won't take it, so he ends up tackling himself. Full marks to Underhill who does well to get across and save possession there.

It is still relatively quick ball, so CCS gets a chance to carry, but he is once again carrying too high and met by a double tackle which knocks him backwards. We look toothless so far, but settle down to a bit of shape - Itoje carrying it up and offloading to Underhill off his shoulder at the gainline, which makes a few metres and gives us momentum again. It also gives a chance for our backs to realign and Smith takes a wide pass and sends a wide pass to allow Lawrence to run at weak shoulders in the outside channels and, lo and behold, he looks like the player who plays 13 for Bath! He beats one and drives through another, offloading off the deck to MSmith who...

Kicking Away Decent Attacking Ball: MSmith x1

NZ are in disarray, he's got Steward and Freeman outside him - there's no overlap, but there's also no defensive line and we're at least making group and getting quick ball if he passes it (or even runs himself). Instead, he goes for a grubber that wasn't ever really on (and is poorly placed even for the low chances of success such a ploy had). JBarrett does his absolute best to cock it up by losing his footing and nearly fumbling the ball collection, but he does bring it back in and the poor quality of option and kick is shown in the fact that, even with a NZ mistake, we're still nowhere close to recovering the ball.

In the last 10 minutes, MSmith has kicked so poorly that it was nearly a try, given way two offside penalties, made a complete pigs ear of an attack by changing direction twice and then flinging a long miss-pass to someone completely isolated, and then KADABed our best ball in a while. I'm fairly certain he gets better than this, but it's not been a great 10 minutes.

Minute 28: New Zealand run a phase to reset, then caterpillar and box. Not great from Christie - finding touch still just outside the NZ 22.

England go straight-forward from this lineout, with Cunningham-South taking uncontested at the front and playing off the top. We spin into midfield and Earl carries to the line, before making the wrong decision in trying to offload to Lawrence on the crash. The pass is never on (there's a half-decent argument that Lawrence is hit off the ball before receiving it, tbh) and the ball flies loose to land in NZ hands. Reece kicks long to find touch just inside the England half and NZ finally get out of their own territory.

We are still trying to use Lawrence as Manu and it is not working - this one is Earl's fault for trying to force the pass, but Lawrence was marked anyway and was not going to be making any meaningful ground even if he had somehow held the ball.

Minute 29: SBarrett takes a moment to demonstrate just how good Itoje is - he attempts to sack Cunningham-South, only to get rightfully pinged for having started the motion while CCS was still in the air. Penalty for England and the Kiwi release from territorial pressure lasted all of one minute. First penalty that NZ have conceded so far though, which is impressive considering some of the possession and territory they've faced. Possibly a reflection of our inability to hold onto the ball for multiple phases though.

Minute 30: England play a lovely short-lineout move - sucking NZ to the front, before peeling right to the edge of the 15m to get Itoje up. It should be glorious attacking ball, but George underthrows and Barrett can reach it jumping at middle - not enough to properly intercept, but he knocks it on and gives us bouncing ground ball and advantage, rather than perfect lineout possession.

Slade sees it loose and races in from first receiver, taking the ball on the bounce and running hard to bounce Finau and make ground into the 22. Quick ball and we go again with Martin who makes more metres, but Baxter trips over and doesn't secure the ruck, allowing SBarrett to interfere with Mitchell and meaning we have to come back for the scrum. Again, a case could be made for SBarrett diving on the ball within the ruck area, but it'd be pedantic to complain.

[Puja]

Minute 31: A good solid scrum, which is handy, cause Earl has a little difficulty picking the ball out from among the legs. When he does, he goes from the base, arcs around the corner and tries an offload to Lawrence running a beautiful line off his shoulder, but he leaves it too late and Papali'i knocks the ball down as part of the tackle. Shame, cause that was the first move that looked likely - still running Lawrence at inside defenders, but this was at least creating a hole for him to run into, rather than a brick wall. Still feels like the smarter move would've been using him as a threat and pulling it out the back to wider runners though. Another England scrum, this one 5m further infield.

Minute 32: Another really good scrum by England, but once again Earl makes a meal of the pickup and this time Christie scrags him. Papali'i is first in over the ball and wins the penalty. I've had a lot of time for Earl at 8 and he's not had problems like this previously, but that's the last three scrums which he has compromised our attack by failing to collect cleanly, finishing with a turnover. 8 is a specialist position.

Minute 33: JBarrett comes in very mildly on Martin after the play has stopped and we get a bit of undignified pushing and shoving as everyone bridles. It all settles down and NZ kick down for a lineout just over halfway.

Fun slow-motion replay as JBarrett is laughing and smiling as he goads Martin, only for the smile to drip off his face and be replaced by genuine concern as Martin very nearly lifts him off his feet by his shirt collar.

...there is some kind of issue with the match clock here. In the space of NZ kicking for touch, it's jumped back by about 55 seconds, which means that it is apparently:

Minute 32:
Again
JBarrett's involved everywhere, as NZ throw right over the top to him on the crash, but MSmith does well to read it, come charging up, and make a solid tackle to limit the damage. We set our defensive line and are aggressive again, catching McKenzie behind the gainline, but it's quick ball and we don't fold well enough. NZ have an overlap and it's made worse by Earl charging and getting stepped on the outside by Ioane to change a 3-on-2 into a 3-on-1. Steward comes flying in as the last man and Ioane steps him too, but Steward has forced him back inside to where the cover defence is coming and prevents him from using his overlap, so we'll call that expertly done.

Minute 33:
Again
Christie makes the wrong decision to try and go blind from the ruck and then compounds it by turning in a small circle and then passing to the open. Itoje is up fast and tackles behind the gainline and Earl is in quickly to effect the turnover... only for Berry to blow his whistle and give a penalty for Itoje wantonly failing to vanish on command. "4 affected the cleanout" - like hell he did! That's a shocking decision. Still, no ref, no game. JBarrett kicks for the corner and it's a decidedly average effort, landing at least 12m away from the line.

Minute 34? Yes, we've now finally been allowed to enter Minute 34!: New Zealand attempt to be clever at the lineout and it doesn't suit them - Savea makes a little dummy at the front and Taylor realises he's unmarked and chucks a flat ball to him, but Savea has made the cardinal sin of running a dummy play without having his hands up in case the ball actually goes to him. The ball fizzes past his ear and into the hands of Itoje, who actually was paying attention, and he gets to make a 10m break before being dragged down at the edge of the 22. England set up a caterpillar and box away, and it's another belter from Mitchell - high enough that it lands on the halfway line as the same time as Feyi-Waboso does. Telea claims it, but gets knocked backwards and New Zealand get taken behind the gainline again at the next phase.

Slow ball for NZ - Christie passes deep to Perofeta who passes deep to McKenzie and this looks like terrible play from New Zealand, but it's redeemed by a ridiculously good kick from McKenzie. He's under pressure from Lawrence looking to charge down, so he kicks it low and hard and it bounces once before going into touch 25m out.

Minute 35: England go up without any artifice in the lineout and SBarrett very nearly has it away from CCS in the air. Cunningham-South does well to hold on and wrestle it back to our side, but it's a warning shot. We're not planning on a grand attack anyway - caterpillar and box and it's another great effort from Mitchell - edge of the 22 to the halfway again, staying within 8m of the touchline, landing perfectly for Freeman to tackle the catcher. McKenzie does well to put in half a step to avoid being absolutely castled (and Freeman wants to be careful about his tackle height cause that could easily have been a red for head on head if luck wasn't with him) and steps out of the tackle, but George is there for the follow-up to bring him down.

NZ attempt to just run a simple reset play, but England come charging hard and Papali'i gets Martin and CCS along with the ball to be tackled 5m behind the gainline. Christie panics and just punts away a hopeful box-kick, which is too long and taken easily by MSmith. He goes on a little run and nearly gets through, but is just dragged down by the fingertips of Papali'i.